Page 63 of Home Is Where the Bodies Are

Michael looks to me with an expression that says,What’s going on with her?

We’re both concerned for Beth. She watched Mom die. That couldn’t have been easy, and I think a part of her perished with Mom. She seems close to falling apart, splitting right down the middle. I’m already broken, so there’s no need for them to worry about me. Shattering a fragment of a fragment means nothing once the structure is gone.

Beth straightens her skirt and glances at Michael and then me. She extends her hands, so I pass the urn to her.

“Ready?” she says, holding it against her chest. Beth’s acting as though we’re just running an errand rather than attending our mother’s funeral service. But maybe it’s helping her get through this.

Outside, we walk to the top of the property line where the old farm fence separates our land from the neighbor’s cow pasture. The sun is starting its descent, a fireball crashing slowly into the horizon, streaking the sky with hues of orange and pink. I read online that it only takes around five minutes for the sun to set. It’s fleeting, and I think that’s why Mom had such an appreciation for it. We value the briefest moments most because they’re the ones that define us—a first kiss, a sudden death, an accident, a marriage proposal, a high...

“We’re gathered here today to...” Beth starts.

I stifle a laugh, but it comes out fast and sudden like a sneeze.

“What?” she snaps.

“That’s the start of a wedding ceremony, not a funeral,” I say.

“Then you do it,” she huffs.

A high-pitched squeak interrupts our bickering. Lucas pushes Susan in a wheelchair across the road, stopping at the top of the steep driveway. One wheel screeches every few feet or so. Lucas waves his hand to signal to us. It’s clear he won’t be able to get her across the yard.

“We should go over there,” Beth says.

All the color in her face has drained, leaving her looking pale and sickly. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” My eyes go to Lucas and Susan, thirty or so yards from us, and then back to Beth. “You don’t look well.”

She takes a couple of deep breaths. “I’m fine. I’ll be fine. Lucas said they won’t stay long, so let’s just get this over with,” Beth says, starting across the yard.

We follow behind.

“Hi, Lucas. Hi, Susan,” Michael greets them as we approach. He shakes Lucas’s hand. Then he kneels in front of Susan’s wheelchair, holding her frail hand.

Susan looks exactly how I thought she would, like someone that life hasn’t been fair to. Although she’s wearing an oversized down jacket, it’s obvious how feeble she is, weighing no more than a hundred pounds. Her sallow skin is etched with wrinkles and her eyes have lost their shine, like the person behind them is half here, half gone... or just wishing to be gone. I still can’t believe what our parents did to her, especially my mom, since they were friends. I guess we do what we do to survive.

“Hi, Brian,” Susan says, placing her hand on Michael’s.

Beth and Lucas exchange a concerned look.

“Mom, that’s Michael. Brian and Laura’s youngest,” Lucas corrects her.

Susan crumples her face in confusion. “Where is Brian then?”

My eyes go to the road, thinking this would be the perfect moment for him to arrive, veering into the driveway in his old black truck. But after our failed attempt to track him down, I’ve finally realized that I’ll never see my dad again. Maybe I’m saying goodbye to him too today.

“He went to the store,” Michael says, delivering a quick smile.

Her face flattens and she looks at her spindly wrist as though she’s checking the time. “He’s been gone a while,” she says.

Michael nods and gets to his feet. “Yeah, he has.”

“And Laura. Where’s the birthday girl?”

Beth clutches the urn a little tighter. Lucas mouths,Sorry, to us and bends down to eye level with his mother. “Mom, we’re here for Laura’s funeral. She passed away. Do you remember me telling you that?”

Confusion gathers on Susan’s face again. She furrows her brow in frustration. “No. That’s not true. Laura and I were just talking the other day. She said she knew where Emma was, that she’d show me.”

My eyes go wide. Michael coughs and clears his throat. Beth’s eyes fill with tears. Her bottom lip trembles, and she sucks it in to bite it.

Did Mom really try to tell Susan what happened? Or is Susan’s mind in 1999, back when Emma went missing?

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