Page 68 of Home Is Where the Bodies Are

His eyes grow wide and his mouth parts slightly. It looks as though he’s either going to scream or break down in tears, but I’m not sure which it will be.

“We found this tape when we were going through our parents’ belongings. There’s a short clip on here, only a minute or so in length. I don’t think they ever meant to record it.”

“What’s on the tape, Beth?” A vein bulges on the side of his neck, and his bottom lip trembles.

“It’s from June 15, 1999.”

His eyes fill with tears and his mouth forms a hard line.

“Emma’s on it. I don’t know what happened to her, but I know my parents found her body down by the creek, and they got rid of it.”

“What are you talking about, Beth?”

“Just... watch.”

The tears fall fast and hard, streaming down his face and then clinging to his jawline.

He shakes his head but says, “Let me see it.”

I look at the tape and nod. This might be a mistake, but I can’t keep this from him, knowing that he’s blamed his dad all these years and that my parents destroyed the future I should have had with Lucas.

Kneeling in front of the television, I slide the VHS tape into the VCR. It takes a moment before it clicks into place and then it makes a humming noise. Onscreen is our backyard at night. An owl hoots in the distance. The moon illuminates the tree line. The video camera scans the darkness. The branches of the trees look like hands and fingers stretching out in all directions. Lucas’s breath hitches.

In the distance, my father calls out, “Laura.” The camera swings to him and the screen fills with black-and-white static. I squint and take a step closer, waiting for the picture to come back onscreen. I know what happens next. My dad appears covered in blood. But it’s just static. I glance over at Lucas. His eyes are narrowed but still glued to the TV screen.

Picking up the remote, I fast-forward. The tape stops and auto-ejects. I pop it back in and rewind it to the start of the dark tree line. It plays out again and as soon as my dad calls for my mom, the screen turns to static again.

“Is this some kind of sick joke?” Lucas seethes. The veins throb in his neck.

“What? No!” I eject the tape and look it over. The label readsSummer ’99. This is the tape. Emma was on this tape. “I swear, Lucas, it was here. Emma was on this tape. She was dead. My parents got rid of her body. They kept it from everyone.” My words come out in a desperate panic.

He shuffles a few steps back, shaking his head. “You’re losing it, Beth. You’re really losing it.”

“No, I’m not, Lucas,” I cry out. “I’m telling you it was on this tape. I don’t know what happened to it, but it was here, I saw it.”

I glance at the tape again. It’s over twenty years old, and I know they wear out. But I saw it a couple of days ago; how could it just wear out? Or maybe... it was the break-in. Maybe the only thing they took was this clip. Erased it somehow. Or the tape was damaged when I watched it over and over again. Or Nicole or Michael? They didn’t want theirpreciousreputations ruined. Before I can explain any of this, Lucas is already backing out of the living room, eyeing me like I’ve lost my mind, just like everyone else in his life.

“This was a mistake,” he says.

My face crumbles, and the tape slips from my hands, crashing to the floor.

“No, it wasn’t.” I try to close the distance between us. “I love you, Lucas.”

He backs away from me like he’s scared of what I might do, or maybe what he might do.

“I’ll always love you, Beth, but I was foolish to think we could just pick up where we left off. You’re not well, and I’m not well either.”

“We can get through this together this time,” I plead.

Lucas doesn’t argue with me. He just shakes his head, turns on his foot, and leaves the house. Saying nothing is the worst way to end everything. No chance to plea. No chance to explain that I am trying to do the right thing and give him closure. He’s just... gone. My eyes go back to the VHS tape, lying on the floor of the living room. I saw it. Didn’t I? I drop to my knees, letting out a howl of a cry. The pain of losing him when I thought I had him back is nearly unbearable. We can only endure so much before we can’t anymore.

THIRTY-SEVEN

MICHAEL

“What the hell?” I yell as I pull into the driveway.

Nicole lifts her head from her notebook. “Oh my God! What is she doing?”

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