Page 109 of For the Win

“Thanks.”I pause.“Mom just told me I’m a coward.”

I expect her to assure me I’m not a coward.Instead, she asks, “Why?”

I tell her about the conversation.“She thinks I’m afraid to try my best because I’m afraid I’ll never be as good as Dad.”

“Ah.Is she right?”

“Who can ever be as good as Dad?”

“So true.”She sighs.

I drop into a chair.“Also, I screwed things up with Arya.”My voice chokes up.

“Oh no.”She takes the chair next to me, studying me.“You really like her, don’t you?”

“I love her.”I squeeze my eyes shut.“I know it’s fast, but I felt it the first time I met her.”

When I crack an eye open to look at her, she’s smiling gently, not looking judgmental or incredulous.“What happened?”

“I’ve been a total idiot.I chased after her and wouldn’t take no for an answer.I didn’t know...”I trail off.I can’t tell Everly about Arya’s history; that’s hers to share.

“You didn’t know what happened to her?”

I meet her eyes.“You know?”

“Yes.”

I blow out a breath.“I kept going after her.I kept thinking what Coach told me—I had to work harder for my dreams.And that’s what I was trying to do.”

She shakes her head.“You can’t treat a woman the same as you treat hockey.You can’t make someone care about you.She does or she doesn’t.”

I nod glumly.“Yeah.That’s what I was doing.I was treating her like I’ve been treating my hockey career—something I could just power through, work hard, never give up.Like Coach told me to do.But I had no idea what she’d been through.I was like a fucking stalker,” I choke out.“I went to her class so I could see her.Pushed her to go out for a drink with me.I didn’t take no for an answer.Then she told me what happened...how she was attacked, and I hate myself.I feel like shit.”

Everly frowns and tilts her head.“Youfeel like shit.”

“Yeah.”

“Uh...Harrison.”She pauses.

I wait.

“Howyoufeel right now doesn’t really matter.”

My head jerks back.“What?”

“Jesus!She spilled her guts and told you the most horrendous thing that ever happened to her and how it affected her andyoufeel like shit?”She smacks my shoulder.

My mouth drops open and I flinch at the blow, although it’s not hard.

“This isn’t about you!Come on!You’re making this about you whenshe’sthe one who’s been through hell.”

I gape at her.

She’s right.I left Arya because I couldn’t deal with how I felt, how I’d treated her.

“I fucked up even worse than I knew,” I whisper, closing my eyes and slumping back into the chair.

“Yeah, you did.Oh my God.You need to do something.”

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