Page 34 of For the Win

“You can order it online,” Lacey says.“It’s called the Cush.”

I make a mental note of this; not sure why.As I may have mentioned, I haven’t had sex in ages.But I’ve been thinking about it the last little while...

With Everly’s brother.She probably doesn’t want to hear that either.

“So, back to you and Harrison,” Lacey says, leaning forward and looking at me.“Are you going to see him again?”

“I haven’t decided.”

“So, he asked you out again?”Taylor pounces on that.

“Well, yes.”I suck my bottom lip between my teeth.“I’m not really into dating, so I didn’t commit to anything.”

“Not into dating?”Everly eyes me with sympathy.“Bad relationship?”

It would be easy to agree and let it go.But I like these women and I feel comfortable with them, and making friends and building connections with people means being honest.“Not exactly,” I say slowly, glancing at Janey.She knows what happened to me, but she also knows I don’t talk about it much.“A few years ago, I went out with a guy I met on a dating app.He seemed really nice and fun, and I agreed to see him again.But he got...weird.”I drop my gaze briefly, then look back up to see all the women regarding me with somber expressions, as if they know what’s coming.“He dropped by my apartment before we even went out again.I’d let him pick me up on our first date, which was a mistake.It creeped me out a bit, but I was also sort of flattered.I thought he really liked me.”

I sip my drink as everyone nods.

“We went out again, but he came on so strong and it made me uneasy, and I told him I didn’t want to see him again.He was pissed.He turned into a stalker, phoning me and texting me, showing up at home and at my work.”

“That’s so scary,” Everly says quietly.

“Yeah.It was.He started getting threatening.He slashed the tires on my car.”

“Oh my God.”Taylor’s eyes widen.“Did you call the police?”

“Yeah, but they didn’t take it very seriously, even though I told them he was following me everywhere.”

“Fuck,” mutters Lacey.

“Then he...”I pause, take a breath, and say, “One night after work I was on my way to the gym and he followed me and attacked me with a knife.”

Their mouths all drop open in horror.Everly presses her hand to her lips, eyes dark.“Oh no.”

“I was lucky, someone called the cops.I had a lot of cuts on my arms and hands from trying to defend myself, and I ended up in the hospital.”I haven’t told this story many times, but this time it feels easier.I feel stronger.I straighten my shoulders and attempt a smile.“That’s why I moved here to California.I needed to get away.”

“He better be in prison,” Everly says fiercely.

“He is.”I nod.“The trial was short because he pled guilty, but it was still excruciating, and...I’m glad he’s locked up, but still, I wanted to get away from the memories.”

“You’re amazing.”Taylor reaches out and squeezes my hand.“We had no idea you’ve been through something like that.You’re so composed and...at peace.”

I make a face.“I don’t always feel that way.But it’s getting better.”My smile is genuine now.“My life is good.”

“That’s why you don’t want to see Harrison again?”Everly asks quietly.

I bite my lip, nodding.

“He’s not like that.”She holds my gaze.“Really.He’s a goof, but he’s a good guy.”

“Okay.Thanks.”She’s his sister.She knows him.“Don’t tell him about this.”

Her eyebrows pull together.“Why not?”

“It’s...a lot to deal with.”

Her lips push out, her eyes shadowed, but she moves her head up and down in agreement.“Okay.”

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