Page 81 of Breakaway

“What are you doing to do?” He sounded like his voice was coming from far away, echoing in his ears.

“I’m…I’m going to have the baby.”

He squeezed his eyes closed. He’d never been someone who believed in abortion but he’d also always believed in a woman’s right to choose. Because they were the ones who got pregnant. But at that moment, he had to ask, why,whyshe would do that when her career and his life would be so hugely impacted by this.

But he knew why. It was a baby. Their baby.

Jesus Christ. How could this have happened?

How could he be a father? He felt like a kid himself. And what was he supposed to do about Brianne? They’d broken up. He didn’t love her. But she was going to be the mother of his child.

Nausea rolled again. He fought it down and looked at Brianne standing there, arms folded across her chest, hip cocked.

He had to ask it. “What do you want from me, Brianne?”

Her face crumpled and her eyes filled with tears. “You know what I want.”

Did she want them to get back together? To try to make something work for the sake of their child? The questions ricocheted around inside him, but he was a coward, too afraid to speak them aloud in case she said yes, that’s what she wanted.

Remi.

Oh, Christ,Remi.How was he going to tell Remi about this?

He’d just asked her to move in with him.

The idea of hurting her sliced through him with such a sharp jagged pain he made a noise. He cleared his throat, glancing at Brianne. She watched him with sad glossy eyes and a shaky mouth.

He turned and walked into his living room, rubbing the back of his neck. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Neither do I.” She followed him and perched on the edge of his couch. He lowered himself into a chair.

“D’you…do you want us to get back together?”

She blinked at him. “I still love you, Jase. You know I do.”

Fuck. That was not what he wanted to hear. That jagged pain inside him intensified.

“I don’t know if I can do this on my own, Jase.”

He moved his head slowly up and down. He got that. He wasn’t sure if he could do it either. A baby! Christ!

He leaned his head back, trying to imagine his life with a child. With Brianne. Terror clawed at him, long talons dragging through his intestines, panic bubbling up inside him with that familiar feeling of being caged, trapped, noosed.

Like marriage, he’d always figured parenthood would come some day. He wasn’t a confirmed bachelor, sworn to stay single forever. Nah. His parents had created a great family and he wanted that too. Some day. Some very far-distant day.

A son to teach how to play hockey.

Maybe a girl. But girls could play hockey too.

But not now. Not now.Not now.

He lifted his head and looked at Brianne.

“I can’t do it alone,” she whispered. “I need you, Jase.”

She held out a hand.

He ached. He hesitated. But the despair and pleading in her eyes tugged at something inside him. They’d done this together. Created a baby together. He rose up, walked over to her and sat down beside her. She turned into him and he hugged her, holding her against him, her face pressed to his chest, his cheek to her hair.

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