Page 93 of Breakaway

“I just don’t know.” His voice caught, and wonderingly, she watched the big brute hockey player’s eyes grow glossy. “I want to be with you, Remi, more than anything in the world, but I have an obligation now to someone else that I have to live up to. I have to be a man. I have to be responsible.” He paused. “It’s time for me to grow up.”

She nodded as her heart splintered and cracked inside her ribcage. She understood that. She truly did, because she’d had to be responsible her whole life and she knew what that felt like.

“I don’t want to keep you hanging while I figure it out,” he continued. “That’s not fair to you.”

She would wait. She wanted to say it, but held the words in. Tears blurred her vision yet again.

“I love you, Remi.” He shifted along the couch cushions and she lifted a hand to push him away because if he touched her, she’d be done, but he just moved her hand aside and pulled her onto his lap. She held onto him, wrapped her arms around him, buried her face in his neck and inhaled the warm male scent of his skin. For the last time. She dug her fingers into the softness of his hair. Tears wet her cheeks and his neck and his arms wrapped around her too, squeezing her so tightly she almost couldn’t breathe. She felt his big body shudder and knew…he was crying too. “I love you, Remi. But I can’t be with you. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry to do this to you.”

She squeezed her eyes shut at the pain, like a knife dragged from her sternum down through her intestines. She knew. She couldn’t speak to say the words, but she knew.

Chapter Seventeen

He’d done it. He’d told Remi. He’d broken her heart and his along with it. Now he had to go see Brianne.

He’d made a decision. Now he had to tell her.

His insides churned.

Last night’s game had been another disaster, but at least it hadn’t been entirely his fault. Or maybe everyone just sensed that he was still messed up and that’s why Arnette had let in three goals that should never have happened, why Griff and Frenchy had taken stupid penalties. They’d been fighting their way from behind the entire game and although Jase had played with everything he had, it hadn’t been enough to pull out a win. They’d now lost three in a row and were up against the wire again. Sunday’s game was either the end of the road or bought them time. At least it was a home game.

Jase hadn’t been to Brianne’s apartment since that night he’d broken up with her. She’d dropped off the few things he’d left at her place shortly after that and he’d never been back. He wiped sweaty palms on his jeans as he waited for her to let him in.

“Hi.” She stood there, looking more like her usual self. Since she earned her living with how she looked, it wasn’t surprising thatshe’d managed to get herself back on track fairly quickly. She didn’t even look pregnant, dressed in low rise jeans and a snug T-shirt. “Come on in.”

He walked in, legs rubbery as if he’d just skated a few hours of drills, and he rubbed his palms on his jeans.

“How are you feeling?” he asked politely.

“Tired.” She made a face.

“You haven’t been sick or anything?”

She shook her head. “No. Thank god. Just really, really tired. All the time. And hungry. It’s hard to keep myself from eating.”

He frowned. “You have to eat, Brianne. For the baby.”

“I still have to watch what I eat. I can’t put on weight too fast.”

“But…that’s what happens when you get pregnant. You put on weight.”

“I know that.” She pressed her lips together. “I just don’t want to use the pregnancy as an excuse to eat everything in sight. I can’t put on weight right now, I have jobs— contracts I have to fulfill. Don’t worry, Jase, I know I’m going to gain weight. I just want to make sure it’s not too much, too fast.”

He knew nothing about pregnancy. “How much is too much? How much are you supposed to put on? Like, the baby’s going to weigh seven or eight pounds, right?”

She shrugged and motioned for him to have a seat. “They say twenty to thirty pounds is healthy, but I would die if I put on thirty pounds. If I can keep it under twenty pounds, I should be okay.”

His brows drew together. Twenty or thirty pounds? No wonder she was freaked out. “But thirty pounds is healthy. What if you…” Jesus, he was going to have to do some studying up on this. He needed to know these things. “What if you starve the baby and he doesn’t grow properly?”

She just waved a hand. “I said, don’t worry, Jase.”

“Well, I am worried. It’s my baby too, remember?”

“I know, I know. That’s why you’re here. You wanted to talk.”

Brianne walked across her living room to a book shelf andpicked up something. When she turned to him, she was shaking a cigarette out of a package.

Jase jolted to his feet. “What the hell are you doing!”

---