Jasmine’s brows flew up and a hurt expression creased her forehead. The coffeemaker sputtered and hissed behind Remi on the counter. “What?”
At first, Remi’d been proud of herself for speaking her mind, but then regret filled her at her hasty words. She rubbed the back of her neck and let out a long breath. “I’m sorry, Jas. I’m kind of not in the best mood today.”
“You don’t look so great.”
Remi bit her lip. “Jase and I broke up.”
“Oh no! I’m sorry, Rem.” Jas studied her. “You two weren’t together that long though.”
“That’s true.” She pasted on a smile. “I’ll be fine. But I feel like I’m being pushed to sell this house without thinking it through.”
Jasmine stared at her, then bent her head. “You’re right. I’m sorry, Remi. Ethan’s pushing me and Kyle agreed with the plan and…we weren’t thinking about you.”
Whoa. Okay.
Jasmine lifted her head. “Is it…possible…you don’t want to sellthe house because you think I’m going to come running home again?”
Remi blinked.
“And you want Kyle to come home in the summer, don’t you? So you won’t be alone?”
Remi’s mouth opened, then closed. She stared at her sister. Her head throbbed and she put a hand up to her temple. “That’s not true.” Was it?
“You should be happy for me and Ethan,” Jasmine continued. “And Kyle has his own life to live. He’s going to travel, which will be awesome for him, right?”
“Uh. Yeah, right. And I do want you and Ethan to be happy together.” She still had her doubts about that, but yeah, she knew they’d have to work things out themselves. “And I know Kyle has his own life now. I just…want to be here for you. If you need me.” That was all she’d ever wanted. It was important to her.
She’d been there for them since the first time their parents had taken off on one of their mission. She’d been there for them when Mom and Dad had died. She’d made the money that paid the bills and bought the groceries. She’d paid Jasmine’s college tuition and now Kyle’s. She’d spent hours of her life driving them both around to lessons and activities and appointments, not even having time for a real relationship, as Darryl had pointed out to her when he’d given her the choice between him and her family.
She’d done it because she loved them, because it was the only thing to do.
Darryl hadn’t been the right guy for her anyway. At the time it had hurt like hell, but that now seemed like nothing. Now…a violent rush of pain thinking about Jase almost had her doubling over. Dense silence filled the kitchen while she struggled for control, swallowing through a tight throat so she could speak. She turned away from Jasmine and blinked her stinging eyes. Jase was a whole other issue.
No, Darryl hadn’t been the right man for her. She’d been devastated when he’d made her choose, telling her she was boringand had no time for him, but she knew now, after what she’d felt for Jase, that she would never have ended up with Darryl anyway. Her feelings for him had been like flat water compared to her bright and sparkling champagne feelings for Jase.
Jase. Oh Jase. It so wasn’t fair this happened to her again, only this time…
“Remi. Are you okay?” Jasmine’s voice behind her sounded hesitant, confused.
“I’m okay.” She certainly didn’t want to talk about Jase. “It’s no big deal.” She forced a smile and turned around. Jasmine was right. Painfully, eye-openingly right. The house was just a place to live. What she was really struggling with was the fact that Kyle and Jasmine didn’t need her like they used to. She had to face the fact that they were adults. Like Jase had pointed out. God, he’d been right too. They were adults and she needed to let go. “So, buying a house will be exciting for you and Ethan. Where are you looking?”
They chatted for a few minutes about neighborhoods and prices.
“I’d better go,” Jasmine eventually said. “I’ll talk to you later.”
“Sure. Bye.”
Remi poured herself cup of coffee and sat down at the table. She stared blankly at the dark steaming liquid.
They didn’t need her any more. That was okay. That was what happened when kids grew up. That was the goal of parenthood—to raise adults who were independent and strong. She remembered Jase asking her if she’d ever thought she was enabling them by being there for them every time something went wrong. She’d thought she was doing the right thing, because she loved them and being there for them after their parents had died was the most important thing in the world to her. But maybe she’d needed to be needed more than they needed her. If that made any sense at all.
So Jasmine might get a reality check when she and Ethan bought their house and moved in together, but that was life. Kyle might get a shock too when he didn’t have anywhere to go betweenterms, but he’d have to figure it out. They were both adults and needed to make their own decisions and take responsibility for their lives.
And she had to take responsibility for her own life too. Yeah, being on her own had been an adjustment, and selling the house and moving into an apartment wasn’t going to be easy. On the upside, it would be lot less work…no lawn to mow in the summer, no snow to shovel in winter, no furnace to replace when it broke down. A place all her own could be exciting. And instead of lonely she’d feel free.
Delise had tried to tell her to change her attitude and she’d been working on it. She’d probably still worry about Kyle and Jasmine, but being without all that responsibility was actually liberating. She’d only have herself to look after, and when it came right down to it, looking after herself was really the most important thing she could do. At one time she might have thought that was selfish, but now…she felt a need to do this, do find out who she really was, to be her own person.
Now she was free and Jase was the one being saddled with a huge responsibility. Huh. She could almost laugh at that, except…it really wasn’t funny.