Page 99 of Breakaway

He smiled at her. “You telling me this because you still want me for yourself?”

She snuffled out a laugh. “Actually, no.”

“What?” He scowled.

“I do love you, Jase.” She touched his cheek. “You told me you couldn’t be with me, and if that’s how you feel, I respect that. I’ve done a lot of thinking too. But my main reason for coming here and talking to you was just to keep you from making that mistake, from sacrificing too much. Not to try to hold on to you.”

“I was coming to see you after the practice.”

“You were?”

“Yeah. To tell you I’d realized I couldn’t get back with Brianne. To see if you still wanted me.” Her heart expanded in her chest, stealing her breath as she watched his face. “But…big ‘but’…” He paused. She met his agonized gaze. “I don’t know if I can ask that much of you.”

“Ask what?”

“Brianne has to be in my life,” he continued, voice low. “She’s going to have my baby. It’s not what I would have chosen, but it’s there. Somehow we’re going to have to be parents to this child together. Not married. Not as a couple. But somehow. We talked about it today.”

“You did?”

“Mmm.” He let out a long sigh. “I couldn’t go back to her. I just couldn’t. I knew how miserable we both would be. That wouldn’t be right. It wouldn’t be fair.”

“I know! That’s just what I was thinking too!” She palmed his beard-roughened cheek. “That’s what I came to tell you!”

“You came to save me from that?” His eyes twinkled.

“Yes.”

“Oh, Remi. Love you so much.”

She looked down at her hands, then up. “I love you too, Jase.”

“I don’t want to lose you, Remi,” he said quietly. “I told you we couldn’t be together because I hadn’t figured things out, but now I have, I…I want to be with you. But my life is so screwed up. It’s a lot to ask, but d’you think you could still be with me?”

She let the words play out in her head. Itwasa lot to ask. She loved him so much and wanted to be with him, but she hadn’t come here for that. She’d just decided that being on her own would be good for her. But maybe she could do both…she and Jase could take their time, letting their relationship grow while they dealt with their personal challenges.

She nodded, lips quivering. “I do love you, Jase. And yes…I want to be with you. But we need to talk about what that will look like. I know this won’t be easy. Not for any of us. I hate it—I fuckinghateit—that she’s having your baby. It makes me feelsickwhen I think about it. I’m not going to deny that.”

He nodded somberly. “I hate it too,” he said. “Because I wish it was you who was pregnant.”

“Oh.” Her heart missed a beat, then accelerated unevenly. Oh god, she wished that too. But she’d come to some other realizations lately too. “Oh Jase.”

Their eyes met and held and then he hauled her onto his lap and she melted against him as he kissed her, tipping her chin up and slanting his mouth across hers. She pressed into him, held on tight to him, kissed him back hungrily, desperately, deeply.

When they drew apart, breathing heavily, he rested his forehead against hers.

“You said this was the worst thing that could happen,” she said. “But it’s not. I know that now. It’s really not.”

“Yeah. I know” He cupped the back of her head and she felt hishand trembling. “But it’s going to be hard. I’m going to want to share custody of the baby. I’m going to want to spend time with him or her. I have a weird job and I travel a lot and I’m not sure what that’s going to look like. I’ll help Brianne financially of course, not that she needs it, but I will.”

“Of course.”

“That’s not an issue, but…being a father…I don’t know how the hell to do that.”

“I don’t think anyone does.” She stroked her fingers through his hair. “Until they’re doing it. You just do it. And do the best you can.”

“I can do it if you’re with me. If you’re sure. Like I said, it’s a lot to ask of you.” He drew back to look at her and uncertainty darkened his eyes. “I’ve already asked so much of you. Putting up with puck bunnies and paparazzi and injuries.”

“I’m sure.”

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