“I…I thought he did. I thought my life was boring. I gave up a lot for my brother and sister. We had to plan…uh…things for when they weren’t home. Which wasn’t often. Lots of times I couldn’t go out because I had to drive them to piano lessons or soccer games or parent teacher meetings.”
“Oh, Remi.” He envisioned her life at age twenty-two—all the responsibility she’d had and how she’d just done it. “That’s not boring. That’s…you.”
He felt wetness on his chest and she sniffed. “I love you, Jase.”
“You know when I knew I loved you?” He rubbed the middle of her back.
“When?”
“Last week at school. When you were talking to Ryan in the hall. And you told him he was smart.”
“I…I don’t get it.”
He sighed and stroked a hand down her satiny back, over the firm curve of a buttock, lingering in the cleft there, making her squirm. “Ryan reminds me of me. I have ADHD too.”
Her head swung up so quickly she almost knocked his chin. “You do?”
“Yup. I had such a hard time as a kid. People didn’t understand it as much as they do now. I had some brutal teachers.”
“Oh, Jase.” She cupped his cheek. “That’s why you don’t like teachers.”
“Well. Not all teachers.” He grinned, loving the feel of her small hand on his face. “But I sure didn’t like Ms Wong in eighth grade. I struggled with reading and writing. Didn’t do my homework. I was failing half my classes. She had no patience for me. Told me I was stupid and I’d never amount to anything in life.”
Her eyes filled with horror and her mouth opened. “Oh my god. Oh, Jase.” Her fingertips touched his mouth.
He smiled. “It’s okay. If it wasn’t for her telling me that, I might never have been so determined that I was going to amount to something. I was nothing if not stubborn.”
“I can’t believe a teacher would say that to a student.”
“I knowyouwouldn’t. And that’s why I love you.Onereason I love you. Even though you’re a teacher.”
Her eyes got glossy and her smile trembled. “Is that what you meant…when you found out I was a teacher…?”
“Yeah.” He gave her a crooked smile. “I didn’t want anything to do with a teacher. That’s why sometimes I was such a jerk. But then I got to know you better. You don’t make me feel stupid.”
“Jase. You arenotstupid.” She paused. “Tell me about it. Tell me what happened when you were in school.”
“Ugh.” He sighed. “They didn’t know as much about ADHD back then. It was in the nineties when it started to get more attention, which was when I was in school, but I had some bad experiences with teachers who didn’t understand it. I had a hard time focusing and was easily distracted, and they’d get frustrated with me and yell at me to just still and pay attention. And I tried, but it wasn’t that easy and I got frustrated too. I got angry. Then along with poor impulse control, I got in fights. Like I said, Ms Wong even told me I was stupid.”
She rubbed his shoulder. “ADHD has nothing to do with how smart a person is. Some individuals with it have very high intelligence levels. Clearly you are an intelligent man, Jase.”
“Well, I didn’t feel like that and sometimes it still gets to me. My marks were shitty and I pretended I didn’t care, but really I felt so inferior. Some kids thought I was stupid too, when we’d get tests back. When we had to do group projects, nobody wanted to work with me.”
He felt her quivering breath.
“Hey, don’t cry. I’m fine. I did okay. When we played sports,everyonewanted me on their team.”
Her smile glimmered. “You’re an amazing man, Jase.”
He smiled. “Nah. I’m just a big kid. I don’t even feel like I’m grown up sometimes. I play a game for a living. I can’t believe my life, either, you know. Sometimes it’s not real.”
“You’re talented and you work hard. It’s real.”
“Thank you. I was lucky I had hockey in my life. It actuallyreally helped me and I had coaches who worked with me on things. I guess they could see I had some talent and I was worth putting time into…unlike some teachers.” Yeah, there was still a little bitterness there.
“I’m sorry you went through that. But yeah…you’ve done great. When I watch you on the ice, I don’t have a clue what’s going on, but you think so fast out there it amazes me. You have to be smart to play like that.”
He thought his heart might explode in his chest and swallowed hard, his eyes going foggy. She thought he was smart. “Next week, my parents are coming to Chicago. To watch the last home game.”