Page 67 of Swift and Saddled

“Ada?” It was Emmy. “Are you okay?” I could hear her boots getting closer to me on the dirt.

“I’m fine,” I said, but I didn’t lift my head. I felt Emmycrouch next to me. She put her hand on my hair and started to smooth it. I didn’t stop her or move away.

“You look fine,” she said sarcastically, but worry laced her tone too. “Totally normal for someone to be curled into a ball on the path down to the stables on a Friday morning.” Emmy’s hand on my hair was more soothing than I thought it would be. Emmy was nurturing. It wasn’t a strength that I had, but it was one I was starting to admire in other people.

For the past year, I’d been so focused on being strong. That’s what everyone told me I needed to be. “Be strong and you’ll get through this,” they said. It wasn’t until I came to Rebel Blue and spent time with other women that I realized that softness was a strength too—one that Emmy had in spades.

Being around Emmy, Teddy, and Cam made me wonder why I’d spent my life thinking that I could be only one thing.

I stayed quiet and let Emmy stroke my hair. I needed to be weak—just for a minute.

When I lifted my head, Emmy was looking at me with concern. “Do you want to talk about it?” she asked.

I shook my head. “Not really,” I said.

Emmy nodded. “Luke and I started this thing after we moved in together last year. Both of us were dealing with a lot of shit that we needed to sit with. So we said if there’s something that’s bothering one of us, and we’re not ready to talk about it, it’s okay to not want to talk about it right now, but we pinky-swear to talk about it eventually.” Emmy held up her pinky. “Pinky-swear you’ll talk about it eventually,” she said.

We locked pinkies.

“We usually seal it with a kiss, but I won’t make you do that.” That made me smile.

“Do you want to be alone?” Emmy asked.

“I don’t know,” I said honestly.

Emmy looked at me thoughtfully, like she understood what I was saying even though I didn’t even understand what I was saying. “Well, I’m headed down to the stables. Fancy a ride?”

“Like on a horse?”

“Yeah, like on a horse,” she laughed.

“I—I’ve never been on a horse,” I said—not even a pony at the fair or anything.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got just the horse for you,” Emmy said. “And I promise, it’s much harder for your worries to fill up your head when you’re riding through a place like Rebel Blue.” She looked up at the sky—big and blue—and smiled. “How about it?”

I chewed the inside of my lip. “Sure,” I said. This felt like as good a way as any to get my mind off Tucson.

“Excellent,” Emmy said. She stood, and so did I. We walked side by side down to what Emmy called the stables, but my mental image of stables and where I was standing now were very different. This felt like the five-star hotel of stables. I felt likeIcould live in here. Emmy walked down the row of stalls and opened one. She went inside and reappeared a moment later with a horse behind her.

“This is Maple,” she said. She brought the horse over by me and secured her to ties that were hanging from the wall. “She’s my angel.” Maple nuzzled Emmy’s neck and then went for Emmy’s pocket. “Oh, I get it,” Emmy said to her.“You want to butter me up with affection so I’ll give you a treat.” Emmy pulled something out of her pocket and fed it to Maple.

Maple was chestnut-colored. Her coat was very shiny. I didn’t know much about horses, I found them terrifying, but I did love animals and knew that a shiny coat was generally a good sign of a healthy one. “And I’m going to get Moonshine. You’ll ride her today.” Emmy walked into another stall, and Maple stared at me.

I stared back.

Emmy returned another minute later with Moonshine. She was light and speckled. When I saw her, the first thing I thought was that she looked wise. Her nose was kind of gray, like a dog’s muzzle when they get older, but what struck me most about Moonshine was her eyes. They were soft and kind and knowing.

“Moonshine is a good horse for beginners,” Emmy said. “She likes to take care of people.” She scratched behind Moonshine’s ears. “Do you want to pet her?” Emmy asked, and surprisingly, I nodded without a second thought.

I approached Moonshine slowly. I was about to reach my hand out but stopped to look at Emmy, who nodded, giving me the go-ahead to continue. I put my hand on Moonshine’s snout. It was surprisingly soft. “Here,” Emmy said, handing me one of the treats she had in the pocket of her jeans. “Lay your hand flat when you give it to her.”

I did as she said, and Moonshine ate the treat off my palm. Her tongue was the weirdest thing I’d ever come in contact with. The sensation made me laugh.

Then Emmy handed me a brush and said, “Follow mylead.” I watched how she brushed Maple and tried to do the same with Moonshine.

“Wes said you give riding lessons?” I asked. “And do horse training?”

Emmy nodded. “Yeah. I haven’t been doing it very long here. I moved home from Denver last July. I told myself it was temporary, but obviously it wasn’t.” She smiled to herself as she brushed Maple’s coat. “I started doing the lessons in November and just took on some horse training clients from my dad at the beginning of the year.”

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