Page 33 of Lost and Lassoed

“Who’s Rebel Blue’s dad?” she asked.

I thought about that for a second before I said, “Meadowlark, probably.”

The wheels were turning in Riley’s brain. I tried to think of a better explanation, but then Riley said, “So we’re in Rebel Blue, in Meadowlark, in the Rocky Mountains?”

“Yes!” I exclaimed. “Excellent!”Fuck yeah, babysitting win.

Riley reached out her small hands, and I gave the book to her. “So we can find all of these?”

“Maybe not all of them, but probably most of them.”

“I want to find them,” she said. She was flipping through the pages of the book, which were worn, torn, and a few of them even stuck together. “This one,” she said when she saw a picture she liked. “It’s pink.”

I leaned over her shoulder to look at the plant she was interested in. The science name was Androsace, but I sure asshit didn’t know how to pronounce that, so I said its common name out loud instead: “Rock jasmine. It’s pretty.” Riley ran her hand over the picture of the wildflower. “I’m going to go grab some sticky notes, and we can mark all the ones we want to find first, okay?”

The smile Riley gave me could’ve powered all of Rebel Blue for a week. I quickly ran inside and dug through my purse. I knew there were sticky notes in there. I felt them and let out another silent cheer.

And they were pink. Excellent.

I jogged back out to Riley, who was still sitting on the blanket I’d set out. She’d changed positions—now she was lying on her stomach, swinging her dirty little feet in the air and flipping through the plant book.

My dad would be pleased to hear that his long-forgotten purchase was coming in handy today.

Riley and I looked through the pages together, and I handed her a sticky note to put on the edge of the page for all the plants she wanted to find. It actually took a good chunk of time—Riley had me read to her what the plants were named, where they were normally found, and if they were perennials, which I explained much better this time. (They come back every year—like Santa.)

We were so absorbed in the plants—which ones we wanted to find, where we were going to look for them, when we were going to look for them—that I didn’t realize Gus was home until his shadow fell over us.

We both looked up, and Gus smiled at his daughter. The least he could do was take the chaps offbeforehe came to see what we were doing.Jesus Christ.“Dad!” she yelled. “Me and Teddy are going to be plant pirates!”

Gus shot me a look that said, “What the fuck is a plant pirate?” I shrugged.

“That sounds great, Sunshine,” he said, and squatted next to her. “What’s this?” he asked, picking up the plant guide bristling with hot-pink sticky notes.

“The Rocky Mountain native plant guide from 1998,” Riley said matter-of-factly. There were so many moments when I saw Gus or Cam so clearly in her, and that was a Cam moment if I’d ever seen one.

“And what are we doing with the Rocky Mountain native plant guide from 1998?” Gus asked.

“We’re hunting plants,” Riley said. Gus nodded, doing his best to follow along and match her enthusiasm. If he wasn’t such a dick, I’d think it was adorable. But he was a dick. It was annoying how many times I’d had to remind myself of that over the past couple of weeks.

Just because he’s a good dad and sometimes looks at you like you’re the only person in the room does not mean that he isn’t a dick.

I looked at him again. He was a little…dirty today—like actually. His face was smudged with dirt, and a sheen of dust covered his clothes. It was a reminder that Gus was a working man, and who didn’t love a working man? A man who knew how to fix stuff, didn’t mind getting filthy…Love?Jesus, Teddy, get your shit together.

“Teddy,” Gus said, startling me. He was looking at me like he knew exactly what I was thinking, but of course there was no way he could, so I shook it off.

“Sorry,” I said. “What did you say?”

“I’m home early. I was wondering if you were staying for dinner tonight or if you wanted to head out.”

“Do you need help with that?” I asked, even though I wasn’t sure why. Yeah, the dirt made him look hot, but he also looked tired. “Maybe I can do dinner while you take the night off?”

Gus looked at me for a few seconds, and I felt my heart rate quicken. I couldn’t tell if the way he was looking at me made me want to stay or to get the hell out of there.

“I’m good,” he said after a few beats of silence.

“Okay,” I said quietly. I didn’t know why that stung—that he didn’t want me to stay or didn’t want my help. Time to go home, I guess.

“Stay, Teddy! Please! We have to finish looking at the plants,” Riley said. I swear to god, this kid was the only person on the planet that could make me want to spend more time in the presence of August Ryder.

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