Page 38 of Lost and Lassoed

“People with uteruses do it every day, August,” I said wearily—even though I don’t think they should have to. “Plus, I’ll probably be fine tomorrow.”

Gus just grunted in response, like I was being ridiculous, and went back to folding.

“You know,” I said after a while, “I thought you’d be one of those guys who think periods are gross.”

“Okay, ouch,” he said. I got another one of those huffs that could’ve been a laugh, but I couldn’t say for sure. “I’ve seen childbirth, Teddy. I know what’s going on down there.”

Something about that made me perk up. “You were there?” I asked. “When Riley was born?” I’d never heard that before. I didn’t know why he wouldn’t have been—maybe because he and Cam weren’t together? I guess I’d never really thought about it.

Gus smiled. A very small smile, but a smile nonetheless. “Yeah, I was.”

“Tell me about it.” I couldn’t explain why, but I suddenly wanted to know what the experience had been like for him.

“What do you want to know?” That wasn’t the answer I was expecting. I expected him to shut me down, tell me he wanted to fold his laundry in peace, kick me out, whatever.

“Everything,” I said. “Was it just the two of you?”

Gus nodded. “Yeah. Cam doesn’t have the best relationship with her family”—he kept folding laundry while he talked—“or at least she didn’t at the time. I think it’s better now, but back then it was really bad.

“My dad, Wes, and Brooks were in the waiting room. Riley was about a month early, so Emmy couldn’t get here in time, but she drove all night to be here the next morning.” I remembered that.

“Cam labored for so long I thought Emmy might make it before Riley was born, but when it was time to push, she popped right out, and she had a set of lungs on her, I’ll tell you what.” Gus did his small smile again. “She screamed and screamed. When she was born, she was covered in, like, thisweird white powder. I thought there was something wrong, but the doctor said it was normal, and to keep an eye on her skin because she’d probably have eczema.”

“Does she?” I’d never heard of the powder thing before.

“Yeah, she does. Especially in the winter—the dry mountain air doesn’t do her any favors.”

“What else do you remember?” I asked. He sounded so soft when he talked about his daughter. I wanted more.

“I remember being totally in awe of how strong Cam was. I remember being grateful for my family because they weren’t just there for me, but for both of us. I also remember exactly what it felt like to realize that I’d never love anything the way that I loved Riley as soon as I saw her.” That part tugged at my heart. “I’ve always wanted to be a dad, probably because I have a really good one, but I didn’t really know what to expect once she got here. I was wrapped around Riley’s finger within a second, and my life got so much better once she was in it.”

“I have another question,” I said—not sure how he’d react to this one, or when I got brave enough to ask it, or why it mattered to me.

“Since when do you come with a warning?” Gus asked.

“Good point,” I said. “Do you ever wish you and Cam would’ve ended up together? That you would’ve fallen in love?”

Gus stopped folding and was quiet. Damn it. I’d gone too far. I knew this talking and smiling thing was too good to last.

“No,” he said softly. His voice felt like velvet against my skin—warm and smooth. “I don’t.” I stayed quiet, silently hoping he would say more and giving him permission to doso.

“Do I think it would’ve made both of our lives easier atsome points? Probably. But I like what we are now.” Gus looked back at me when he said, “I wouldn’t trade Cam as my friend for anything.”

“And you guys were really never…a couple?” I asked. I only knew the story that Emmy told me—that they were never really together but wanted to co-parent their kid anyway—Cam because she needed a support system and Gus because family had always been his thing.

“No,” Gus said. “We weren’t. We had this phase where we were messing around a few months after Riley was born—I think both of us realized at the same time how lonely and isolating being a single parent could be at the same time.” That made sense to me. I could only imagine what each of them went through with their little plot twist. “It was like we were both looking for something to cling to—but that didn’t last longer than a couple of weeks.”

“You guys are great parents,” I said honestly.

Gus rubbed the back of his neck and looked away from me, like he didn’t know what to do with my compliment. “Do you want more kids?” I asked.

“Yeah,” he said quickly. “If I found the right person to have them with. I’d want to do it a more…traditional way this time, I guess.” Those would be some lucky kids. He was a good dad—thoughtful, patient, affectionate with the one he had, and I had no doubt he would be that way with a few more, too.

“You mean you wouldn’t want to knock up another woman via a one-night stand?” I joked.

Gus huffed and judging by the way his shoulders relaxed, I was starting to think those little huffs were actually laughs. “I think one time is enough.”

“Riley would be a really amazing big sister,” I said, even though I didn’t know the requirements for big sisters—I was an only child—but I felt sure she would be. Protective and open-hearted.

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