Page 40 of Lost and Lassoed

“Accepting some help when it’s offered,” she said.This again?“You try to carry everything by yourself even though you don’t have to. It has to be heavy, even with your arms.” Teddy glanced down at my biceps, and I flexed a little without thinking. “You have a lot of people who love you, or at least tolerate you”—she pointed at herself when she said that—“and maybe if you let them help, you wouldn’t be…”

“Wouldn’t be what?” I asked, crossing my arms.

“Such an asshole all the time.” Teddy met my gaze, and even though I knew it wasn’t a good look, she didn’t back down. I’d started to like that about her.

I sighed. “Noted,” I said. Teddy looked surprised, like she was expecting me to put up more of a fight, but she had a point—a point I didn’t feel like arguing. I liked how we were right now.

The playlist I was listening to ended shortly after that, but I still had a few loads of laundry to fold, so I turned back to Teddy, who was still curled in a ball on the couch. “Do you want to watch a movie?” I asked.

“What do you have in mind?” she asked.

I shrugged. “What’s your favorite?”

“School of Rock,” she said with no hesitation. I actually did laugh this time.

“That wasn’t what I was expecting, but okay.School of Rockit is.” I turned on the TV and bought it online. That way Teddy could watch it again here if she wanted to.

“I love Jack Black,” Teddy said right when his character did his failed stage dive after an admittedly epic guitar solo. “He oozes sex appeal.”

I turned and raised an eyebrow at her. “Jack Black oozes sex appeal?”

She looked at me like that was the dumbest thing I’d ever said. “Yes,” she said pointedly. “He’s funny and uninhibited and a hell of a musician.”

“Speaking of musicians, how’s your dad?” I asked. I hadn’t seen Hank in a while. He’d had a bad bout of pneumonia over the winter that gave us all a good scare.

“He’s okay,” she said. “I worry about him, but he’s spending a lot of time with Aggie.” Her voice sounded kind of…sad, but when I looked back at her, she was smiling a little.

“That’s cute,” I said, and it was. Aggie’s husband passed away a few years ago, and Hank had been single since I’d known him. It was nice that both of them had found someone to spend time with during their later years.

“In twenty-eight years, I don’t think I’ve ever heard you use the word ‘cute.’ ” Teddy reached out and touched myforehead, like I’d done to her earlier. I’d touched her a few times tonight—her forehead, the small of her back—but when she initiated contact, it was a shock to my system.

“What the hell are you doing?” I asked.

“Checking for a fever.”

“You’re ridiculous, Theodora.” I rolled my eyes, and she laughed before she settled back on the couch again. She winced a little, and I looked at the outlet by the couch to make sure the heating pad was still plugged in.

“Drink some water,” I said. The glass I’d gotten her was still mostly full. “Do you need anything else?”

“I’m good,” she said. “Thanks, Daddy.”

“Fuck off with that,” I said, but I couldn’t help smiling.

Somewhere between Jack Black getting fired from his band and then getting fired from being a substitute teacher, I ended up on the couch with Teddy—on the other end, obviously.

She was right. This was a good movie. When it ended, I turned to tell her as much, but she was fast asleep. “Teddy?” I whispered, just in case she was awake, but she didn’t budge.

I looked at my phone. It was a little past midnight—shit, I needed to get to bed. When I stood up from the couch, I looked at Teddy again. I reached down to wake her up but stopped before my hand made contact. She looked so peaceful—a stark contrast to how she’d looked when she walked in here, tired and in pain. I thought about leaving her on the couch, but then I worried she’d get cold once the heating pad turned off. An image of her shivering on my couch in the middle of the night made my decision for me. I slid my arms beneath her shoulders and knees and scooped her up off the couch.

She let out a little sigh. She was always making these little noises. All of them had imprinted themselves on my brain—not necessarily in a bad way, but in a way that had me thinking things about Teddy that I shouldn’t.

When I started walking, she curled her head onto my chest.

My heart rate kicked up, and it was so loud, I wondered if it would wake her.

I thought of the only other time I’d had Teddy Andersen in my arms, and my knees nearly buckled as I carried her into her room.

I laid her on the bed as gently as I could and covered her with a blanket. I looked at her one last time before I left her room and shut the door. I couldn’t help but think that the last time I accepted help—it got me Teddy. Maybe that meant good things could come from realizing you can’t do it all on your own.

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