Page 45 of Lost and Lassoed

“From the 1998 Rocky Mountain field guide, actually.” I looked up at Gus and he rolled his eyes. But the malice or annoyance that used to accompany his eye rolls was nowhere to be found—at least right now. “She picked fifteen that she wanted to find, and I thought it would be cool to track them.”

“So you’re drawing them?”

“To start,” I said. “And when we find one, I’m going to embroider it on this. I’m hoping we can finish before the summer is over, then I’ll give it to her. Maybe make it into a pillow or something.”

I looked up at Gus again. He seemed to be having trouble swallowing.

“This is…really thoughtful, Teddy,” he said. “The whole thing.” Sometimes when Gus was nice to me, it still stunned me silent. “Is this the kind of stuff you did at the boutique?”

“Sort of,” I said. “I made full pieces—mostly jackets and skirts—that Cloma let me sell, and we had options for personalization and stuff online, so I got to do some embellishment work like this, too.”

“Do you miss it?”

“Yeah,” I said honestly, “I do. Not just making the clothes,but the boutique in general. I liked talking to people, helping them find something they felt good in, hearing about what their plans were for the pieces they picked out—that sort of thing. And I liked doing the backend stuff, too—watching the needle move on sales and finding more ways to get our name out there. I liked having goalposts that I could move as I accomplished things.”

Talking about the boutique made my chest feel tight. I loved being here with Riley, but I missed my job—not having it and not knowing what I was going to do next made me uneasy. I wanted to keep moving, but I didn’t know which direction to go.

“I’m sorry you lost all of that,” Gus said. He sounded sincere. “I’m sure you were good at it.”

“I was,” I said with a shrug. “But I was also totally comfortable. I don’t know”—I shook my head; I hadn’t really talked about this with anyone before—“I kinda wonder if it was almost a good thing. How long would I have stayed there, doing the same thing—doing something that I always wanted to do for myself for another person?”

“So that’s what you want to do?” Gus asked. He was looking at me intently, listening to everything I was saying. “Stuff with clothes?”

I nodded. “I love making things, and I love making people feel good. With clothes, I can do both—make beautiful things that make people feel beautiful. I just don’t really know how I want to do it. I don’t have enough money to open a brick-and-mortar store, and I don’t want to just replicate what Cloma did. I don’t know.”

“Well, one thing’s for sure,” Gus said. “You’ll sure as hell come up with a better name.” I laughed at that. “But seriously,Teddy. I know you’ll figure it out, but I’m sorry you have to, even though I’m not sorry that I benefited from you losing your job.”

“So you’re not regretting letting me be your babysitter?” I asked, jokingly, but Gus sounded serious when he answered.

“Not at all.”

I didn’t know what to say to that, so instead I said, “Speaking of which, I patched Riley’s clothes.” I nodded toward where they were sitting on the arm of the couch. Gus glanced over at them and squinted.

“Do I see flowers on the back pocket of those jeans?”

I smiled. “I told you I did embellishments!” I said. Botanicals had always been my favorite things to doodle—another reason why I was so excited about this summer project with Riley—and I’ll never forget when I figured out how I could wear my doodles all the time. “I used to embroider flowers all over my and Emmy’s jeans in middle school. I thought Riley would like it.”

“She’ll love them anyway, but tell her Emmy used to wear jeans like that and she’ll never take them off.”

“She might love Emmy as much as I do,” I laughed.

“She might,” Gus agreed as he went and sat on the couch.

“It’s funny,” I said. “I’ve known Riley her whole life, but spending so much time with her lately, I’ve noticed so many pieces of everyone in her.”

“What do you mean?” Gus asked.

“She’s curious and fearless like Wes,” I replied. “She has a bit of a reckless streak like Brooks. She’s analytical and has the memory of an elephant like Cam. She’s stubborn like you.” I shot a pointed look at Gus. “She’s kind like your dad, and she’s brave like Emmy.”

Gus made an amused sound. “You know that weird thing Emmy does with her leg when she sleeps?” he asked.

I nodded. Emmy did this thing where when she was sleeping on her back, she would bend one knee and then cross her other leg over it.

“Riley does that too. She also sleeps hard like Emmy, and fucking hates mornings…”

“Like Emmy,” we said at the same time.

Gus got up from the couch. “C’mon,” he said. He reached down and grabbed my hand, and I tried not to let the shock register on my face when I got up to follow him. “I bet she’s doing it now.”

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