Page 46 of Lost and Lassoed

Gus kept hold of my hand as we went up the stairs. Riley’s door was open, and there was a soft pink and purple glow shining from it. She had a nightlight that went off on a timer.

Once we got closer to her door, Gus started tiptoeing, and I had to pretend it wasn’t the cutest thing in the world. He kept me behind him while he peeked his head around the corner.

When he looked in on his daughter, I saw Gus’s dimples for the first time in a long time.

I was so busy staring at him that I didn’t realize he’d tugged on my hand until he did it a second time.

I stumbled forward quietly and peeked around Gus’s shoulder. He was right. Riley was doing the leg thing, and I had to stifle a laugh. Gus looked at me, and there was a smile on his face, and goddamn if it wasn’t the most beautiful smile I’d ever seen.

Thosedimples.

He looked at his daughter one more time before pulling me back down the hall. “I told you,” he said.

“Can’t believe that type of weirdness is hereditary,” I said.

Once we got back to the living room, Gus started to laugh. “There’s no way that can be comfortable,” he said. I didn’t know if I’d ever heard him laugh before—not like this, at least. Not freely. And soon I was laughing too.

Gus and I fell silent at the same time, and suddenly I realized how close we were—almost chest to chest.

We’d been like this before. Both times, I’d written it off—the way it felt. But I didn’t know if I could do that again. I didn’t know if I wanted to.

I watched Gus’s eyes fall to my lips, and then to where our fingers were still intertwined, and then back to my mouth.

He stepped closer to me.

I stepped closer to him.

I didn’t know what was happening or why. I’d be the first to admit that I liked Gus a lot more than I had a few weeks ago, that I was starting to notice things about him that I’d never noticed before, and that I found almost all those things appealing.

But did that mean I was going to let whatever was about to happen, happen?

Well, apparently, yeah, it did.

He put his hand on my waist, and I let him. His eyes were on mine and then on my mouth again. His tongue darted over his lips, and I dragged my hands up his arms to rest on his shoulders.

Maybe after this, it would all go away. The want, the struggle that showed up in my head every time I thought about August Ryder, maybe it would stop.

Maybe I needed this.

“Teddy…” Gus sighed. “I…”

I shook my head. “No kissing,” I said as I dragged my handsdown his chest. That was a split-second decision. This already felt like too much, like I was getting dangerously close to doing something that I couldn’t come back from. As much as I’d promised myself I’d never admit it, I had barely come back from it seven years ago. I had drawn a line around those deep, secret places in my heart, and I had to do it again—to protect myself from the onslaught of feelings that were getting kicked up like dirt under truck tires—loud, chaotic, and lingering. “Not on the mouth.”

“Why?” he asked. He sounded…pained?

Because I can’t get rejected again.“Because I just…I can’t do that again.” He straightened up, and I could see that night flashing before his eyes. He did remember after all. I leaned in and kissed his neck. My thoughts were starting to fall behind my actions—they couldn’t keep up with what I wanted. His breath hitched in his throat. “No kissing,” I said again.

“On the mouth,” Gus repeated, and I nodded. He touched his forehead to mine and breathed out a sigh. “But I can touch you?” he asked. “Like this?” One of his hands brushed over my ass and the other played with the waistband of my shorts.

It was me that gasped this time. “Yes,” I forced out. The hand at my waistband dipped inside and gripped my hip.

“Like this?” he asked, and I swore his voice was lower than it was a few seconds ago.

“Yes,” I said again, sounding needy and desperate. I didn’t know how the situation had changed so fast, but all I could think about was Gus Ryder’s hands and how I wanted them all over me.

“Like this?” he asked, brushing his fingers over my panties.

“Um,” I said, not able to think. The wheels had stopped turning in my head.

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