Page 64 of Lost and Lassoed

Something about seeing them that way hit me. Teddy wasn’t my little sister’s annoying best friend and Hank wasn’t someone who used to work for my dad. They were a father and his daughter, curled up on a bed in a hospital, and as a father myself, it gave me a lot of feelings.

My dad and I went to the small seating area just outside Hank’s room, and I texted Wes.

Gus:Give Riley a kiss for me.

Surprisingly, Wes responded a minute later, even though it was three-thirty in the morning.

Wes:You got it you big softie.

Gus:Jackass.

Wes:How’s Hank? How’s Teddy?

Gus:Both okay. Hank’s sleeping. Teddy’s with him.

Wes:And Dad?

Gus:Okay, I think.

Wes:Is he doing the nose scrunch thing?

Amos Ryder was steady as a river, as grounded as a deep-rooted tree, and as calm as a pond on a sunny day. But he did have the nose scrunch thing—his tell that his emotions were overwhelming him. I saw it when Riley was born, when Emmy raced her last race in Meadowlark, when Wes showed us Baby Blue for the first time, when Brooks graduated from high school, when Cam got into law school, and whenever it was time for one of our horses to move on from this life.

My dad felt things deeply. I think all three of us had a little bit of that in us.

Gus:No, but he was here for a bit before we got here.

Wes:Keep an eye on him.

I thumbs-upped Wes’s last message and slid my phone back in my pocket. I leaned back in the couch I was sitting on. It was hard and uncomfortable—like the tile floors and harsh lighting. My dad sipped his shitty hospital coffee and read his paper. Every few minutes, I heard him flip the page.

Me? All I could do was think about Teddy.

I was still unsettled by how she had been on the way over here. It was so different from the Teddy I knew and the one I’d gotten to know over the past month and a half.

For as long as I’d known her, Teddy had been larger than life. She was animated and fearless and so goddamn fuckingloud. The Teddy I’d gotten to know recently was all of those things, but she was also thoughtful and creative and cared deeply about the people around her—including my kid, which was obvious every time I watched them together.

But the Teddy from this morning? I didn’t know how to face her. Withdrawn, like she wasn’t allowed to let her pain show—like she wasn’t allowed to feel anything.

I dozed off to those thoughts, and woke up to my sister shaking me awake. “Gus,” she said. “Wakey wakey.”

I blinked the sleep out of my eyes.

Emmy was sitting next to me on the uncomfortable couch with a few bags between us. I smelled food—good food, not hospital food. My stomach rumbled, which told me it was probably way past the time I normally ate breakfast.

“Food?” I asked.

“Good morning to you, too,” Emmy said with a small smile. “But yes, there’s a breakfast burrito in there for you.” She pointed at a brown paper bag. I reached in and grabbed one.

“Where’s Dad?” I asked, noticing that he was no longer in the chair across from me.

“He stepped out to call Wes and Dusty—to make sure everything is good at Rebel Blue without you two.”

“Wes has Riley,” I said.

“Luke went and picked her up. They’re going fishing.” That brought a smile to my face. Riley would love that. “He was going to go anyway, and when Dad told me you brought Teddy here and had been here all night, I figured you’d probably need some rest.”

“Thanks, Em.” I nodded. “What else you got here?” I gestured to the large canvas tote bag she’d brought with her.

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