Page 19 of Lost and Lassoed

Something flashed from Emmy’s eyes. “Speaking of Gus…” She wanted to say something but was hesitating.

“Spit it out, Clementine,” I said, motioning for her to keep going.

“Well,” she started, “you know Cam is in Jackson, so Gus has Riley full time.” I nodded. “He wants to get some help—someone who can be with Riley at the house on the days she would normally be with Cam.”

“That sounds like a good idea,” I said, and it did. Considering the breakdown I’d witnessed on his porch, it was obvious that he needed help.

I didn’t know why Emmy was telling me about it, though.

Emmy was quiet, so I looked up from sorting through a bunch of skirts trying to find the one (short, leather, crimson)that I’d had my eye on for a while. My best friend was looking at me the way she looked at me when she wanted something.

Then my brain clicked.

“No,” I said immediately. “Absolutely not.”

“Ted—”

“No,” I said again. “No. No. No. No.” Gus might need help, but I was not the woman for the job. Not unless Emmy wanted a double homicide on her hands. “No,” I said, hoping this one held some sort of finality.

“Teddy. He needs help, you need a job.” Emmy’s eyes were so soft. “It’s not permanent. It’s just until Cam gets home, so you can take the summer to figure out your next move.”

“No,” I said again. Emmy sat down on the small love seat outside the dressing room and patted the space next to her. I groaned but went and sat beside her.

“I’m worried about you, Teddy,” she said. There it was.

“I’m fine,” I said with as much enthusiasm as I could muster.

“Really? Because yesterday I sent you a picture of a carrot that looked even more phallic than usual, and you didn’t say a thing.”

“You’re worried about me because I didn’t have anything to say about the penis carrot?” I mean, she was right, normally I would’ve been all over that girthy carrot, but it felt like she was reading too much into it. Plus, it was the first time she had texted me first in a while, so it didn’t really seem fair to judge how I responded.

“No, I’m worried because of what your not saying anything about the penis carrot represents.”

“Enlighten me,” I said.

“Usually, when you’re sad or upset or anything, I hearabout it. You say you’re over it, but then we harp on it a little longer. If it’s really bad, we go buy cheap plates at the thrift store and break them. We paint your garage. Wedosomething about it.

“But not this time,” Emmy continued. “This time, you’re acting like…well…you’re acting like me, and I don’t like it.”

In the past, I’ve willingly leaned on Emmy, but I just didn’t know how to right now. I felt like my emotions were too jumbled to even begin to talk them through. And if I was being honest with myself, I didn’t want to hurt Emmy’s feelings. I didn’t want to have to tell her that part of the reason I was sad was because of her. I just wanted to deal with this on my own and get over it.

Wow, I did sound like her. Emmy was a bottler—she would hold everything close to her chest and try to work through it without inconveniencing anyone. I knew when something was wrong, but I knew when to push and when to let her be inside her own head.

I guess this was Emmy trying to push. I let out a sigh. “I get what you’re saying, Em, I really do,” I said. “And yeah, I haven’t been feeling awesome lately, but I don’t see how watching Gus’s kid a few days a week is supposed to help with that.”

“Do you trust me?” Emmy asked.

“Duh,” I said with an eye roll.

“Then trust me on this: I think this is a good thing. You don’t have to worry about looking for a job right away, you can save a good chunk of that check Cloma gave you, and you get to spend the summer running around with Riley at Rebel Blue.”

All of that sounded great, until I remembered who Riley’s dad was.

I did not want to spend my summer with August Ryder.

“It’s low-risk, high-reward,” Emmy said, and looked expectantly at me. That was the exact line I fed to her when she was freaking out about having feelings for Brooks, and the look she was giving me told me she knew that.

“That was a different situation, Emmy,” I said, reading her thoughts just as I’d been doing since we were babies.