Page 25 of Wild and Wrangled

But my marriage to Graham was the trigger, and it didn’t happen, so everything I’d done for Riley and for this money and her future was for naught. Anger bubbled underneath my skin.

“Graham was the one who didn’t hold up his end of the bargain, Mother,” I said without thinking.

“Excuse me?” Lillian sounded shocked that I would talk back to her.

“Never mind,” I said.

“This was a good thing for you, Camille. Who knows if you’ll ever get an opportunity like that again. You come with a lot of…baggage.” Did she just call Riley my “baggage”?

“I’m sorry,” I said again through gritted teeth. Lillian was the reason I slept with a mouth guard.

My mother continued to ignore my apology. I wasn’t even sure what I was apologizing for. “Your father and I need to do some damage control. I’ll be in touch with updates about how we can possibly salvage your future. I expect you to answer your phone when I call.”

“Yes, Mother,” I said with a sigh that she could definitely hear.

And then she hung up.

Well, that wasn’t so bad. It could’ve been a million times worse—it had been before. Maybe I was right to give both of my parents a cooling-off period. I looked around the room. I’d packed everything last night and cleaned it the best I could. I didn’t have much—just what I’d packed for what was supposed to be my very glamourous honeymoon to a ski cabin in Park City, Utah. I’d brought the bag to the church with me, which in hindsight was a very good call.

I let out a breath as I reflected on the past week. I thought about how weird it was that I was staying in my baby daddy’s guest room and yet, how it didn’t feel weird at all that he and his fiancée had been there for me. I’d known since Gus and Teddy got together that she was good for my daughter, but it was a special thing to witness—how attentive Teddy was to Riley and her needs, how she brought out the best side of Gus, which he preferred to hide, and how when he told her I was staying here for a little while, she didn’t bat an eye.

I knew why Gus offered up his guest room instead of letting me stay at the Big House with Amos. It wasn’t just that he was worried. He knew that it would take a lot longer for me to leave the Big House than it would for me to leave his. I’d feel too safe, get too comfortable. I’d let Amos cook me breakfast and make me green smoothies for the rest of forever. But Gus knew that I’d start feeling weird if I stayed at his house for too long. It blurred the few boundaries that Gus’s and my co-parenting relationship was built on. We parented together, but we were also our own people with our own lives—no matter how much they overlapped. He knew that if I stayed here, I’d eventually realize that I had to get up and stand on my own two feet again.

With one last look around the room, making sure I didn’t forget anything, I wheeled my suitcase out to the kitchen, where Gus was drinking his coffee at the kitchen table.

“Morning,” I said as I got closer to him.

“Morning,” he said. “How are you feeling about today?”

“Good,” I said. “Ada should be here soon. We’ll take my car to Graham’s, take everything we can fit. Wes and Brooks will follow with a truck and do the heavy lifting of Riley’s furniture.”

“Will Graham be there?” Gus asked.

I nodded. “Just to make sure I get inside.”

“Have you talked to him at all?”

“No,” I said. “Ada set this up. Plus, there’s nothing for us to talk about.” He went back on his word and on our agreement. He knew what that would cost me, and he didn’t care. I didn’t blame him, but I didn’t need to talk to him about it.

Gus’s dark eyebrows furrowed. “I feel like there’s probably a lot for you guys to talk about,” he said.

“There isn’t.” I shrugged. “Thank you for this week. You and Teddy have been incredible. I’m happy our daughter has you.” My throat tightened. “I’m happy you’re her dad—that she has a good one.”

“She has a good mom, too, you know.”Does she?I didn’t feel that way—especially after my mother had just reminded me of everything that Riley had lost. I hoped she wouldn’t miss something she never knew she was supposed to have.

“And tell your dad thank you for watching her today,” I said. “I’ll come pick her up tomorrow, and we’ll get back to our regularly scheduled programming.”

“Cam,” Gus said. “Are you, you know—are you okay?”

“Fine,” I said with a shrug. Always fine. “Ada and Wes are here,” I said, looking down at my phone. “I’m just going to peek in Riley’s room, and then I’m going to head out.”

Gus looked like he wanted to say more but didn’t. I walked past the table and headed up the stairs to Riley’s room. Her door was open—Gus liked to peek in when he woke up. I didn’t want to risk waking her, so I stood in the doorway.

She moved so much when she slept. Her comforter and sheets were chaotic—the fitted sheet was even pulled off the mattress in the corner. Her curly hair was just as crazy. The legs of her pajama pants had ridden up and were bunched around her thighs. Her mouth was wide open as she slept.

Every time I looked at my daughter, I got overwhelmed. I couldn’t believe she existed and that she was mine. I couldn’t believe something so smart and tenacious and clever came from me. And I wanted to make sure I could give her everything.

I wanted to stand in this doorway and watch her forever,but I knew I had to get our new home ready. I blew her sleeping form a kiss and quietly descended back down the stairs.