Page 58 of Wild and Wrangled

“Why?”

“Because then you can knock your parents down like this guy does to his customers.” I could almost hear the wheels in Riley’s head turning.

We ate a couple more Fruit Roll-Ups, and I made her asandwich when she said she was hungry. Not long after that, she fell asleep curled into my side. Just when I was about to join her in snoozeville, I heard panicked steps coming down the hallway.

Cam appeared a second later, looking stressed and frazzled, and like she was about to yell. When she saw me, I brought my finger up to my lips in a “shh” motion, and then pointed to Riley asleep next to me.

I watched Cam’s shoulders drop as she exhaled. “Should I take her to her bed?” I whispered, and Cam nodded. I maneuvered Riley into my arms and tried not to jostle her too much. When I stood up from the couch, Cam’s eyes were moving from Riley’s face to mine—like she didn’t quite know where to look, but the expression in her eyes didn’t change. It looked a lot like love.

I tried not to think about it as I moved past her. She followed me down the hallway to Riley’s room and pushed the door open for me. When I set Riley in her bed, she moved a little, grabbed a stuffed horse that was next to her and pulled it close, but she didn’t wake up. I pulled her blanket up over her and met Cam in the hallway as I shut the door softly behind me.

“Wait,” I said. “Does she sleep with her door shut? I saw this thing a few years ago about a house that had a fire and the door being shut to the kid’s room kept him safe, so now I always shut doors, but I can open it if you want me to.”

I was rambling. Why was I rambling?

“It’s okay. She sleeps with her door shut,” Cam whispered.

We walked back down the hallway to the living room together. “She, um, she was waiting outside of my house when Igot back,” I explained. “She wanted a Fruit Roll-Up and couldn’t reach the box.”

Cam dragged a hand down her face. She looked exhausted. “I can’t believe I fell asleep.” She sat on the armrest of one of her couches. “I was doing briefs at my desk, and I thought moving to my chair wouldn’t hurt, and when I checked on Riley, she was going buck-wild in a couple of her coloring books.”

“It’s okay,” I said to her. “You were tired.”

“I don’t get to be tired,” she said. “I don’t get to fall asleep in my office—not with my daughter here.” Cam let out a heavy sigh, and I watched the tension return to her shoulders. “A million things could’ve gone wrong. She could’ve tried to climb up to reach the Fruit Roll-Ups and fallen and broken her arm. She could’ve decided she wanted to roam farther than your house.”

“Hey,” I said and put my hands on each of her shoulders. “None of those things happened. You have a smart and thoughtful kid, Cam. She didn’t want to wake you up. She came and got me. We watchedPawn Stars,and she fell asleep on the couch. It’s okay.”

“You don’t get it, Dusty,” she fired back. “You’re not a parent.”

“No, I’m not,” I said, “but I’m also not an idiot, so I know this isn’t worth getting worked up for.” I brought my hands to her face without thinking about it. “And next time you’re tired and you need a nap, you come get me, okay? And I’ll come sit on your couch with Riley. I’ve watched Riley’s village work for Gus, so let me be the part of it that works for you, all right?”

Cam’s nostrils flared, but then her eyes went soft. “Thank you—for taking care of her. She likes you, you know.”

“I’m glad,” I said. “I hope you’re still thanking me when she’s trying to negotiate a new bedtime.”

Cam gave me a puzzled look. “What do you mean?”

“Don’t worry about it,” I said. “Is there anything else I can help you with? With work, or whatever?”

“No,” Cam said and rubbed a hand over her face. “I don’t want you to bore yourself to death.”

“If it’s so boring, why don’t you do something else?” I asked. “Maybe something where you don’t have to work so much? Or that makes you happier and less sleepy?” I tried to keep it light.

I watched her shoulders deflate—so much for light. “Honestly, I don’t really know where to start,” she said. “I don’t really know if there’s anything else I want to do. It just feels easier to just do this and know that I’ve got a secure job, even if I don’t love it.”

“That feels like a really half-assed way to live, Ash, and I’ve never really known you to half-ass anything.”

Cam sighed and shrugged, as if she was depleted. “I didn’t mean to dump all of that on you,” she said. “I just keep waiting for things to slow down a bit, but they haven’t. And I have to see my parents next week, so I’m more keyed up than usual.”

“Why?” I asked. “Not why are you keyed up—I get it—why do you have to see them?” From the outside, it didn’t seem like Cam’s relationship with her parents had changed that much, so I wondered why she was still trying.

“They have this annual fundraising gala thing in Jackson Hole,” she said with a wave of her hand. “They raise a lot of money for childhood cancer research, so I don’t mind going. I just wish I could go…without talking to them.”

“Are they still…”

I didn’t finish my sentence before Cam said, “Yeah. They’re mostly the same.”

“Anything I can do to help?” I asked.

---