Page 60 of Wild and Wrangled

“Whoa there, angel,” he said against my mouth. “Slow down.”

“We’ve been going slow,” I said. “So, so, so slow.” Not to be dramatic, but I felt like I’d been trying to get into Dusty’s pants for awhile. He made me feel safe and respected and loved. I wanted this with him.

We’d done other stuff, and so far, it had all been amazing. But every time we got close to sliding home, Dusty stopped us—like he was doing now. When he stepped back, his eyes looked wild, and I’d sufficiently mussed his hair. His expression was kind of…pained?

I felt the insecurity creep up my body, and I folded my arms over my chest. I looked down at the floor. “Do you…” I started. “D-do you not, um, want to…with me?” I finally managed to get out. As soon as I said it, I felt like crawling into the deepest hole I could find and burying myself alive. I couldn’t look at him, so I slid my back down the wall until I was seated on the floor. I put my head on my knees and wrapped my arms around my shins.

“Ash,” Dusty said softly. “No.” His voice was soft, but close, which meant he had met me on the floor. “Look at me, angel.”

I shook my head, embarrassed. “Ash,” he said more firmly. “Look at me. Please.” I let out a sigh. I couldn’t refuse him, so I lifted my gaze to his.

“I want you.” His gray eyes were glued to mine. “I want you so bad—in all of the ways. I love you, and I want to be close to you like that. I’m ready to be close to you like that.”

“So why won’t you?”

“I know we don’t like to talk about it, but I’m going to Montana next month, and you’re going to college in the fall,” he said. “I don’t want to have sex with you and then leave a few weeks later.”

“But you’re not leaving me,” I said. “You’re just leaving. We’re going to stay together. We’ll talk all the time, and we’ll visit each other.”

Dusty swallowed. “I know,” he said. “And I’m so glad about that. I just…I love you so much, and I want our first time to be special.I don’t want you to feel like I’m just going to like…hit it and quit it.”

A laugh bubbled out of me. It was loud and free. “Hit it and quit it?” I said between inhales.

Dusty’s mouth tilted. “You know what I mean,” he said. “I respect you and shit, and I need you to know that and feel that, okay?”

I pushed up on my knees, so Dusty and I were face-to-face. God, he was so good. I studied him for a second: his eyebrows that were a few shades darker than his hair, the silver ring through his right nostril, the tiny scar underneath his left eye that he got from running into the corner of a table when he was little. “I love you, too,” I said. “I know what I am to you, Dusty. The fact that we’re going to be apart for a little doesn’t change that—not for me.”

“Not for me, either,” he said softly.

I put my hands on either side of his face. “Okay, then,” I said and then kissed him again. Less urgently this time. I let my mouth linger on his as the heat started to build between us again. His hands roamed over my body and mine explored his.

“Wait,” he said and then pulled away again. “Before we go too far, I need to show you something.”

I huffed impatiently. “You’re a real mood-killer, Tucker, you know that?”

He laughed a little before he stood and brought me with him. “I think you’re going to like this,” he said. He looped his fingers through mine and started pulling me toward the back of the house. When we reached the back door, he said, “Close your eyes,” and I gave him a look. “I’ve got you.”

I rolled my eyes dramatically before squeezing them shut. Dusty grabbed my other hand, so he was holding on to both of them now.I heard the back door open, and he carefully guided me outside. I took a few steps until I felt the ground beneath my feet change from cement to grass.

“Okay,” Dusty said. “Open.”

When I opened my eyes, I couldn’t believe it. It looked so dreamy back here. Dusty had used a couple of sheets and rope to create an open tent-like structure using the branches of the big oak tree by Aggie’s workshop. From what I could see, it looked like every pillow and blanket in the Tucker household was inside of it. There was a picnic blanket with snacks on it, too.

“Oh my god, Dusty,” I said on a gasp. “This is beautiful.” When I looked over at him, he was grinning wide.

“Look that way,” he said, nodding toward the back of the house. When I did, I noticed another white sheet hanging on the back of the house with a small projector a few feet behind it. I couldn’t believe he did all of this. It was perfect.

I started pulling him toward the blankets inside the tent, and the two of us flopped down onto them as soon as they were within reach. Then we were kissing again. I had my hands on his face and my leg hitched up around his hips, using everything I had to pull him closer to me.

One of his hands slid into the back pocket of my jeans and brought the middle of our bodies together. I gasped.

I started kissing his neck. I had left Dusty with a visible hickey more than once, but I didn’t care. “Are you sure?” he asked. His voice was breathy and strained.

“Yes,” I said with a small bite where I’d been kissing him. He groaned, and I felt powerful. “Are you?”

“Yes. Yes. Yes,” he said quickly. “I’ve never done this before.”

“I know,” I said. “Neither have I.” I liked that I was going to be his first and he was going to be mine. My last, too. I knew it.

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