Page 76 of Wild and Wrangled

Dusty brought a hand up to my face and smoothed my hair back. I did the same to him. I loved the way he looked in the morning glow—I wanted to remember the way he looked right now forever, tucked safely into the Dusty box.

I watched his eyes scan my face. “What?” I asked softly. He looked like he wanted to say something.

“I wanted to talk.” He hesitated. “About something you said last night.”

“Okay…” I trailed off, waiting for him to continue.

“About the ‘no more babies’ thing,” he said, and suddenly I was wide awake.

“Is that…a deal-breaker for you?”

Dusty shook his head immediately. “No, of course not,” he said. “I feel the same way about kids that I did when we talked about them when we probably had no business doing so. Icould see my life with or without them—the same thing you said.” I did say that back then, and it was still true. Now, I just saw my life with one instead of zero or multiple. “When I heard you were pregnant, I wondered if you’d changed your mind.”

I shrugged. “Kind of,” I said. “It’s not a secret that Riley was an accident, and when I told Gus I was pregnant, the first thing he asked me was what I wanted to do—no judgment. He just said that we would do whatever I wanted because it was my body, and neither of us knew how to be a parent. We barely even knew each other at the time.

“And, I don’t know, he just cared for me so easily—again, a woman he barely knew—and I just thought that a kid deserved to have him as a dad. Then I met his dad and knew I was right. So, we made the choice to do it together, and I’ve never once regretted it, but I knew as soon as we agreed that I was only going to do it one time.

“I hated being pregnant—really hated it. I know some women love it, but I wasn’t one of them. I hated how my body didn’t feel like my own—like it was stuck in a Space Invaders arcade game. Giving birth was the scariest thing I’ve ever done, and I ended up in therapy after. I had nightmares about it—even though Riley’s was relatively easy from what I’ve read and heard about since then. It was still traumatic for me.” Dusty rubbed his hand up and down my arm. “And it was all worth it to have Riley at the end of it, truly, but now that I know what it entails, I don’t want to do it again.”

“That makes perfect sense to me,” Dusty said softly. “I just—I’ve always wanted to know more about…Riley’s beginning, I guess.”

I rubbed my thumb over his cheek. I couldn’t keep myhands off him. I didn’t want to. “I’m sorry if it hurt you,” I whispered. “Finding out I was pregnant.”

Dusty brought his hand over mine, so he could move it to kiss my palm. “Don’t ever apologize to me for that,” he said. “If we hadn’t ended, you wouldn’t have her, and that would be a damn shame. Plus, we were apart for so long at that point. It did kind of suck when I thought you and Gus were together.” Dusty smiled.

“Right,” I said. “I forgot that he was your hero growing up.”

“Okay, that’s a little much,” Dusty said. “I thought he and Brooks were cool—that’s all.”

“Sure,” I said with a light laugh. “That’s all. So you’re okay with the no more babies thing?”

“Yes,” he said without any hesitation. “Like I said, I’ve always been able to see my life with or without them, but even though I’ve tried, I’ve never been able to see my life without you.”

“Dusty…” He was being so direct again, just like when we were dancing last night. I loved it, but at the same time, it overwhelmed me.

“I know,” he said. “I’m not supposed to say things like that, but, Ash, you’re fucking insane if you think I’m ever going to let you go again.”

Chapter 33

Cam

Riley and Ada weren’t at the Big House when I went to pick her up after Dusty and I got home that morning, but Amos was sitting at the kitchen table with the paper and a smoothie.

“Howdy,” he said as I walked in.

“Hi,” I said back with a smile. I shrugged my jacket off and took the seat next to him. “How’s your Saturday?”

“Good,” he said. “How was your Friday night?” There was a light in his green eyes. They looked just like my daughter’s.

“Who wants to know?” I asked.

“An old man,” he said. “Who lives in a quiet house, all by himself…” Amos trailed off, and I rolled my eyes.

“A big, quiet house that he built himself on the most beautiful piece of land in the state. Woe is you,” I said, and Amos chuckled. “What do you want to know?”

“I heard Dusty went with you,” he said.

I looked at the dark brown wood of the table. “You heard right,” I said quietly.

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