Page 98 of Wild and Wrangled

Usually, I worked at Rebel Blue every day. Gus insisted I have some sort of break day, but I normally took that on Wednesdays or Thursdays. Until recently, I didn’t mind working the whole weekend if it meant someone else didn’t have to. Now, I wanted to be at soccer games or sleeping in with Cam.

“Yeah,” I said. “Thanks for letting me.”

“I was wondering what might’ve inspired that change in routine,” Amos said next to me. The tone in his voice told me he already knew.

“Are you here to talk to me about Cam?” I asked and then muttered, “Word sure travels fast around here.”

Amos chuckled. “I didn’t plan on stopping by, but I was visiting with Anne when her granddaughter stopped by, so I heard a very interesting story about home ownership.”

“Ah,” I said. “I didn’t know you and Anne were close.”

“I’ve known her a long time,” he said. “She was my babysitter if you can believe that.” God, this town was so complicated.

“I actually can,” I said. “I don’t think there’s much you could tell me about the relationships in Meadowlark that I wouldn’t believe.”

“But you still came back,” Amos said.

I shrugged. “Well, that was thanks to Gus.” Which was true, but his job offer was just the catalyst. I’d wanted to come home for a long time. I finally wanted a chance to settle into a life. But now I didn’t know if the life I had always dreamed about finding when I returned home was just that: a dream.

“Rebel Blue wouldn’t run the way it does without you, and you’ve already put in so much work on the sanctuary. I appreciate you. I’m glad we have you for the long haul.”

“Thank you, sir,” I said. I didn’t know I needed Amos’s reassurance about my work, my commitment, until he gave it to me. But with his words, I felt my shoulders relax.

“You’re a good man, Dusty. Your dad would be proud of you, you know.”

My head filled with memories of my dad, how much I wished he was here. He would know what to do and what to say, but I couldn’t say much after that, so we walked in silence for a bit. I listened to the noises in the trees and focused on the cool air filling my lungs.

After a while, when we had made it to the actual walking path, Amos broke the silence. “Cam is like a daughter to me. I love her like one, and I worry about her like one. It killed me to watch her go through what happened on her wedding day, and she’s been even heavier on my mind since then.”

I nodded. “I know.”

“And so when something happens to her, it takes up a lot of space in this old head. I think about it all the time. I wonder what I can do to help without being an overbearing old man.” I was about to tell him he wasn’t that old, but he kept going. “Usually, I settle on talking—trying to pull out some sage advice that might turn on a lightbulb or open a new door. And most of the time, it works. They find their way, whatever that way might be.

“And Cam is no different. I gave her advice about you last month—told her that it was okay to go after it—go after the future she really wants.” I swallowed. I didn’t know Amos was invested in this—in us. “I’m hoping I wasn’t wrong in saying that.”

Okay, ouch.

“No, sir,” I said. “I want a future with her. I—I love her. I’ve loved her forever.”

“That’s what I thought,” Amos said. I could hear a smile in his voice. “Is it okay if I give you a little advice, then?”

“Please,” I said honestly. I trusted Amos—I valued his thoughts and opinions, and I knew he did his best to look out for everyone. Cam, my mom, and now me, apparently.

“Be careful how much space you give her,” Amos said. “She needs some, but at the end of the day, it’s more important for Cam to know that she’s loved.”

“I understand, sir,” I said.

“Something else I’ve learned? There is a time to let things go, but you also have to know when to hold on to something tightly. There’s value in clinging to it and not letting it get away from you. The bravest thing you can do when you lovesomeone is work hard to keep them—to hold on to them with everything you’ve got—and even when you loosen your grip, you don’t let go.”

I let his words sink in. I had told Cam that she was right to leave all those years ago, and I still believed that. But this felt different. It felt all sorts of wrong.Even when you loosen your grip, you don’t let go.How could I show Cam that I wanted to be her anchor, her steady shelter in the storm, but I was never going to drag her down? I just wanted to be her true north, just like she had always been mine, the light that guided me home.

“I know you’re a hard worker, Dusty, I see it every day, so what are you going to do to make sure Cam doesn’t get away again?”

Chapter 43

Cam

When I woke up the next morning, my bed felt empty without Dusty in it, and he’d only stayed over one night.

---