Page 16 of On Broken Wings

He didn’t tell me he was sorry, or that it would be ok. He didn’t offer to stop, or ask if I wanted him to. It was like I wasn’t even there. His hips drove into me, and all I could do was hang on and wait for it to be over. My eyes stung with tears as he finished with a grunt. He pulled back, removed the condom, and tucked himself back in his pants. “Sorry about the panties,” was all he said as he opened the back door, and climbed out. I laid there stunned at what had just happened. It was as if I’d spent the entire evening with a different person. The Nate who talked to me every day in calculus class and took me out for pizza was not the same Nate who had just taken my virginity. He couldn’t have been.

I sat up slowly as the ache and pulsing between my legs got stronger. Nate was standing by the SUV as if he was just waiting on me. After a few seconds, he tapped on the window. “You plan on coming out soon? I can take you home.”

A single tear trickled down my cheek as I scooted toward the door, and climbed out. I limped a little from the pain that was still strong between my legs. “My car is here.”

“Suit yourself.” Nate’s head tipped to the side as he shrugged.

He started to walk away, but I stopped him. “A ride would be great. I’ll get my car tomorrow.”

“Get in the front seat.” He motioned with his hand, and then went around to climb behind the wheel.

I sighed as I climbed in. He didn’t talk to me the entire ride to my house. It’s like he was on autopilot, and I wasn’t even there. When we pulled up my driveway, he just sat there. He didn’t get out, didn’t tell me he had a nice time, nothing. “I’ll see you Monday,” I murmured as I pushed open my door, and hopped out. As I made my way to the front door, I fumbled for my keys. The moment I was inside, Nate sped away.

ooooooooo

I trudged upstairs, stripped out of my dress, and rushed to the bathroom. I wanted to wash away any memory of the night from my body and mind. I didn’t feel like I thought I should, and I didn’t really know how to cope with that.

As the bathroom filled with steam, I climbed into the shower. I stayed there until the water ran cold, attempting to wash the dirt I felt and memories that were seared into my brain, away.

With shaking hands, I turned off the water and grabbed a towel. After wrapping it around my cold body, I shuffled into my bedroom. My phone was blinking with a text alert. Tears welled in my eyes as I lifted it, and rubbed the screen to wake it up. Kenzie’s name appeared.

Where’d you go? You and Nate have some private dance moves?

As the tears fell down my cheeks, I typed back:Wasn’t feeling too great. Went home. See you Monday.The truth was, I didn’t want to talk to her right now. I didn’t want to talk to anyone about tonight. I told myself that I was just overwhelmed. Tonight was a big step for me. Monday, it would be different. Nate would be himself again, and things would go back to normal. Maybe next time the sex would be better too.

oooooooo

When I awoke this morning, I had a new outlook on life. I’d spent the weekend in the gym training, and had put Friday night out of my mind. I overreacted, plain and simple. Mom needed the car today, and Nate hadn’t mentioned picking me up, so I rode my bike to school. When I arrived, it seemed like everything was normal. There was a banner out front congratulating Stephanie on being homecoming queen. Students were milling before class, but there was an unusual crowd near my locker.

“What’s up, Jen?” One of the guys, Trey, lifted his chin.

“Not much.” I crinkled my brow as my lip twisted. I’d never had a conversation with this guy before; why did he want to talk now?

“You have fun Friday?” He snickered. “I bet you’re real flexible being a gymnast.”

“Sure.” I stepped around him to open my locker.

“Wanna go out sometime?” He snorted as he tried to hold in his laughter. By this point, a few more guys from the football team had come over. They were slugging each other in the shoulder, and giving out high fives like they’d scored points for something.

“I need to get to class.” I grabbed my calculus book and turned to head to Mrs. Sanderson’s class, only Trey started to follow.

“When you’re done with Cater, I want a turn.” He laughed and heat began to creep up my neck. Did Nate tell his friends that we had sex? Did I look different? I ignored his taunts as I stepped over the threshold and into calculus.

“Hey.” I gave a small wave as I sat down in the desk beside Nate. He nodded his head, but didn’t respond to me. “You ok?” I kicked his foot with mine.

“I’m fine.” He looked over at me with expressionless eyes. Gone was the teasing and playful smile. In its place was indifference. After a few beats, he went back to staring at his notebook.

Mrs. Sanderson walked in halting me from overanalyzing our encounter, but I couldn’t help but glance at him every few minutes. When the bell rang, I gathered my things and left. Nate didn’t say any more, and my heart couldn’t take any more brush offs.

oooooooo

When lunchtime rolled around, Kenzie was waiting for me at my locker. She was smiling, and it was the first time I’d felt like smiling all day. I’d thought that after this morning, maybe I was reading too far into things, but my encounter with Trey was just the beginning. Each member of the football team that I encounter treated me the same way. I’d been asked out by no less than ten different guys so far today. None of them bothered with me before the dance. They knew I was with Nate, so why now?

“I’m starving.” Kenzie groaned as I shoved my books into my locker.

“At least one of us is,” I muttered.

“Heeeeyyyy, Jen.” Trey was back. He jogged up to me and grinned. “You think any more about my offer?”

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