Page 18 of On Broken Wings

Some days it gets so bad, I just walk to the park instead of school. I haven’t skipped enough that anyone would alert my parents but I’m sure I’m close. The first week was the worst. Every morning I had to see Nate when I came into calculus class, every afternoon I had to sit beside Darrin in chemistry lab. At first, he glared at me like I’d betrayed him, but then he just started shutting me out. I’ve often wondered if he feels bad about what’s happening to me, but then he just stands there when Michelle dishes out her daily punishment.

The weather’s been getting colder, and soon I’m not going to be able to hideout in the park. Thanksgiving break starts tomorrow, and my brother’s coming home from school. I’ve been wondering if he’ll believe the lies I’ve been telling everyone else. It doesn’t really matter if he does. Sunday night, he’ll drive back to Loyola and his perfect college life leaving me here in the hell that Nate Carter created.

As the sun started to set, I grabbed my phone and began walking home. The chilly breeze cut through my sweats easily causing me to shiver. There were dark clouds in the distance signaling a storm brewing; only I didn’t realize how close it really was.

oooooooo

The closer I got to my house, the bigger the pit in my stomach seemed to grow. There was a police car along with several other unmarked cars. I stumbled to a stop thinking that maybe I had skipped too many days, and they were looking for me, but then I saw Mason. He must have left early in the afternoon to get home that quickly. His head was bent as one of the officers patted his shoulder and nodded. It was in that moment that Mason’s head popped up, and our eyes connected. I thought I’d see happiness. I haven’t seen him since the summer, but his expression looked more fearful than anything. He brushed off the officer who was talking to him, and started striding towards me.

I began rushing towards him needing, no craving, a hug. I missed him. He was my hero growing up, and knowing he was home would offer some solace in the messed-up world I was currently living in. When he reached me, his arms banded around me, but it wasn’t happiness that he exuded. As I hugged his neck, he began to shake as his body wracked with sobs. “I’m so sorry, Jenni.” He choked out the words as he held onto me. “I’ll take care of you.”

“What?” I pulled back as I tried to free myself. “What are you talking about? What happened? Where’s Mom?” I looked over to where the officer was still standing only to realize that my mom’s car wasn’t in the driveway.

“There was an accident.” The officer’s lips thinned. “I’m sorry. We were coming here to find you.”

“What?” I squeaked.

Mason rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. “Mom and Dad were making a grocery run for Thursday. A truck ran a stop sign and hit the passenger side. Mom didn’t make it.” His breath shuddered. “Dad’s in critical care at Mercy.”

“What?” I’d heard the words, but they weren’t sinking in.

“Come on. I’ll drive you both.” The officer motioned to his cruiser.

“Thanks.” Mason nodded as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders, and guided us to the car. “Where were you?” he murmured as we climbed in. “They went to the high school looking for you.”

“At the park. I didn’t have anything important in my last couple of classes today, so I bailed early.” I shrugged as I climbed in. “No biggie.”

“We’ll talk about this later.” Mason sighed as the car pulled away from the curb and began to make its way through traffic. I didn’t have the energy or the desire to argue with my brother at the moment. I had no intention of telling him before, and now I surely wasn’t. My life was circling the drain, and I wondered how long it would last before it would be too much to handle.

ooooooooo

Dad only made it through the night. He succumbed to his injuries late the next morning. Mason and I were both there and despite it being the worst thing I’ve ever had to go through, it helped that I was able to say goodbye. Mason spent the next week preparing for their funerals, and trying to be the adult of the house. I don’t think I left my room for anything other than going to the bathroom. I don’t remember the last time I ate, or showered for that matter. The funeral was small, just a graveside service, and Mason’s been in the process of moving back home. I told him he didn’t have to, that I’d fine, but even I don’t believe myself. I’ll be eighteen in a few months; I don’t need anyone to take care of me.

“You plan on coming out of there any time soon?” Mason knocked on my bedroom door. He’s been doing this every day since he came home.

“Go away!” I flung a pillow from my bed at the closed door.

“Jenni, you have to eat. I haven’t seen you eat in days,” he begged.

“I’m not hungry!” I yelled back at him. I felt bad when I did it. I knew he was grieving too, the only problem was, he was the adult now. He had to hide his feelings as he took care of me. At least, he thought he did.

“Please, Jenni?” His voice softened. “I’m worried about you. You’re nothing but skin and bones. I’ve never seen you this thin.”

“I’ll eat later.” I rolled over so my back was to the door in case he opened it. It had been a rough morning. Not only was I dealing with losing my parents, but the taunting was back. The Twitter video that I’d been trying to keep from my brother had now been turned into a GIF. People I wasn’t even friends with were texting it to me. I can only assume that they got my number from Darrin. It’d been happening for a few weeks, but this morning I got a message that said I should just drive into an intersection like my Dad did.

I’ve thought about it. More than once if I’m honest. I got in the car last week, and just sat there thinking about letting it roll into traffic. What if I hurt someone else though? I could never do to another family what’s happening to me.

I honestly don’t know why I’m here anymore. I feel like I don’t matter. My friends don’t call me anymore to check on me. Kenzie stopped showing up at the house after I yelled at her the last time. No one from school came to the funeral, or sent a card, or anything.

“Jenni?” Mason was standing outside my door again. “I’m heading out for a few. Will you be ok here for a little while?”

“I’m fine.” I’ve said that so many times over the last two months, that I thought I’d convinced myself it was the truth. I don’t even think I know what the truth is anymore. “I may take a hot bath later.”

“Jenni…” Mason paused like he was debating on whether he should actually leave me home alone or not.

“I’m fine,” I whispered as a sob rolled through me. Tears that I’d been holding back broke free. I honestly didn’t think I had any left. They blurred my vision of the homecoming picture I still had taped to my mirror. I don’t know why I still had it there. Maybe I was trying to convince myself that all of this was a bad dream. Nate really did like me, and I’ve just been trapped in this nightmare. If I woke up, I’d be snuggled next to him, and my parents would be waiting to lecture me when I came home late.

“Ok. If you’re sure.” Mason’s voice got quieter. “Call me if you need anything. I’ll see ya later.”

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