Page 2 of On Broken Wings

“Have a good day,” Mom called out to my retreating back. I waved, and then stepped outside into the late summer air. Fall would be here before we knew it, and things like homecoming and the holidays would be spent in a totally different way. Senior year held so much promise.

oooooooo

“Hey.” Darrin smiled as I climbed in the front seat. “What’d your mom say?”

“The usual.” I rolled my eyes. “She’s worried I’m going to lose my spot.”

“It’s only the third week of school,” he groaned. “Have you told her you don’t want to do this anymore?”

“No.” I shook my head and turned to look out the window. “I’m gonna give her this year, and then quit.”

“Jenni.” Darrin sighed. “I thought this year was about us. How am I supposed to ever get time with you if you’re always at practice?”

“I spend a ton of time with you,” I scoffed as he began our trek to school. I didn’t live that far away; the truth was I could walk if I wanted to. When he pulled into the lot, I glanced around. “What are you doing?” He parked the car near the back of the lot rather than up front with the other seniors.

“I want more time with you.” He cut the engine and turned towards me. “We study. I go to practices, and wait for you, only to get a half hour or so. I want time for us.” He placed his hand on my thigh, and rubbed lightly. “Don’t you want to?”

“You mean sex?” I narrowed my eyes on him before glaring down at his hand. “That’s what this is about? Sex? Really? Again, Darrin? I told you how I felt about this,” I huffed as I leaned toward the door. I needed to get out before I let him change my mind. Darrin had a way of making me want to give into him, but this was something that I’d decided long before he came into my life. I was waiting, no matter how cute and charming the guy was.

“We’ve been together for two years, Jen. I’ve been patient.” He flopped back in his seat and gripped the steering wheel tightly.

“And I told you how I feel.” I turned towards him while placing my hand on the door handle.

“I want… no, I need you to know that if things aren’t progressing in that direction, well, it’s not because of me.” His head rolled to the side as his eyes met mine.

“I can’t believe you’re doing this right now.” Tears pooled in my eyes. “I thought you loved me. I thought you understood.”

“I do.” He scrubbed his palms down his face. “I do understand. I just,” he reached for my free hand, “I need more of you.”

“I’m doing the best I can.” I shook my head slowly. “Sex means something to me.”

Before I could finish, he sat up straighter, “And I obviously don’t.”

“That’s not what I said.” I pulled my hand free. “You mean a lot to me, but sex is something that I can’t take back. I told you when you brought it up the first time that I was going to wait for marriage. You said you understood.”

“I did. I mean, I do,” he growled behind a clinched jaw. “Can we just talk about it some more? After practice tonight?”

“You’re not going to change my mind, Darrin.” I sighed.

“I just want to talk. We can study, and then go somewhere and talk.” I listened, knowing he wouldn’t give up until I agreed to hear him out.

“Fine. We’ll talk, but that’s it.” I shoved open the car door and stepped out.

“I can move closer,” Darrin suggested as I shut the door.

“I wanna walk.” I shrugged as I leaned through the open window. The truth was I needed time to think. Darrin and I had several classes together, and I’d never be able to come up with a way to tell him that I wasn’t sleeping with him again if he was constantly there trying to plead his case. We were lab partners in chemistry class, and he sat behind me in calculus. I was excited about it when school first started, but then he had to bring up sex and change everything. Now, I felt like I was constantly avoiding him. I loved him, but if he loved me, wouldn’t he stop pressuring me?

oooooooo

“You looked good up there tonight.” Darrin tipped his head towards the balance beam. He’d given me a ride to practice, and my coach let him stay and watch with some of the parents in the viewing room.

“Thanks.” I wiped some sweat off my forehead. “Give me a few minutes to change, and we can go.” I tugged at the sleeve of my leotard. I was sweaty and tired, and all I really wanted to do was shower and sleep.

“Do you really?” Darrin stuck out his lip in a pout.

“Do I really what? Change?” I rolled my eyes as I shook my head.

“I like this.” He placed his hand on my shoulder and then trailed it down my arm, entwining our fingers. “It shows off all the curves.” He grinned.

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