Page 14 of With Every Breath

Bailey: About what?

A half hour went by, and no response came. Why would she say that and be so cryptic? I pulled up Dex’s number and sent him the same photo with a simple ‘Merry Christmas’ under it.

Dex never responded either, and of course I started spinning a million things in my head about what it could mean. I know I’m not supposed to care, but I can’t help it… I do.

I finally went to sleep around midnight with my phone in my hand. I didn’t want to miss any messages, and for some reason my gut told me that Dex would message me back.

ooooooooo

It was Christmas Eve, and it was snowing. Outside looked like something off of a Christmas card. Everything was covered in white fluffy snow, and the house smelled of cinnamon. I let my nose guide me as I climbed out of bed and shuffled to the family room. The tree was standing proudly in the corner, Dad in his easy chair reading the paper, and Mom was whistling in the kitchen.

I rounded the corner, and before I could say a word, Mom handed me a cup of coffee. “Sleep well?” she sing-songed as she went back to the stove.

“Yeah. I feel like I’m sleeping well just in time for me to leave.” I sighed.

“You could always stay,” Mom teased. She knew I couldn’t. Winter training was starting up in a few weeks, and I had to be there. It wasn’t optional.

“I wish.” I sipped my coffee and sat down at the kitchen table. I watched a few birds flit to and away from the feeder Mom had hanging in the tree nearby. The neighbor across the street was shoveling his sidewalk. The snow made a pillow effect on the bushes. “Breakfast smells delicious.” I hummed as I brought my phone to life. No messages. No missed calls.

“It’s almost ready.” It was then that the house phone rang. Mom wiped her hands on the Christmas apron she was donning, and scurried over to grab the phone. “Hello?” She had a smile to her voice. “Oh, just a minute. Can I ask who’s calling? Yep. Hang on.” I assumed it was someone who wanted my dad, but she turned and started walking toward me. “It’s Dex?” She said it in a questioning tone.

My nose crinkled as I took the receiver from her. Why wouldn’t he just call me back on my cell? “Hello?” I almost whispered. I wasn’t sure how to act here. I wasn’t hiding anything from my parents, but sitting here talking on the phone with my mom in the room just felt weird.

“Merry Christmas.” Dex laughed on the other end.

“Merry Christmas,” I repeat unsurely. “How’d you get this number?”

“It helps to be friends with your best friend, who knows pretty much everything about you.”

“Right. Of course, you asked Madi.” I laughed as I sipped more coffee. “I sent you a text last night. Madi said you were asking about me.”

“I was, but I’m not telling you why just yet.” He had a teasing sound to his voice. “I called because I wanted to make sure we were still on for New Year’s Eve. I have to get a rental, and I wanted to find out what color your dress was.”

“It’s black. This isn’t like prom or something, is it? I mean, this isn’t some crazy set up to get me all dressed up, is it?” I was getting nervous.

“Not at all, but can you imagine if you wore like a pink dress, and I showed up in an orange suit? That would be a disaster.” He laughed.

“I get it.” I laughed in return. “So, you were worried enough to track down my parents’ number?”

“I care about my friends.” He sighed. “More than I should at times.” Those words landed like a kick to the gut. The truth was, I knew he liked me… a lot. I knew that all I had to do was say yes, and he would do everything to give me the world. There was just something holding me back. Fear? I don’t know, but watching him try to be there for me in all the ways I’d let him was slowly breaking my resolve to stay away.

“I care about you, too”— “I murmured “—and I’m trying, so hard.” It was then that Mom pulled the French toast off the stove. She held up the plate, indicating that breakfast was ready.

“I have to go.” I sighed just as Dex started talking.

“Promise me that when you come back, you’ll try harder. That’s all I want for Christmas…for you to try harder.” His voice was almost a plea. “Promise me that.”

A long pause ensued before Mom set a plate of food in front of me. “Ok.” I nodded as I answered him. “I’ll try harder.” Before he could respond or I could back out of what I’d just agreed to, I hung up. I knew that if I gave my brain a chance to process it all, I’d back out. All my instincts were telling me I needed to, but my heart was lonely, and I needed to let it have a chance. Even if this was a big mistake, I needed to try, and trying with Dex might be the best mistake I could make.

Chapter 7

Bailey

“So, let me see.” Madi squealed with excitement as she rushed into my room. “Wow,” she whispered.

“Is that a good wow, or a bad wow?” I turned to face her as I brushed my palms down my dress.

“That’s a ‘he’s not going to know what to do with himself’ wow.” She grinned.

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