Page 17 of With Every Breath

“Sure, although I’m not very good.” I laughed it off. My parents had gotten me involved in soccer to make me more coordinated. I have to say, I may be a star on the field, but I still can’t dance.

When we reached the dance floor, Dex stood in front of me. He placed his hands on my hips, and attempted to move to the rhythm. He laughed as I swayed awkwardly. “I told you I couldn’t do this.” I shrugged as I started to laugh.

He leaned closer, and pulled me flush with him. “You could dribble circles around me on the field. Use that confidence here. Feel the way I move.”

I could feel exactly how he was moving. His thighs were flexed as they pressed against me. His breath was fanning across my cheeks. I’d been chasing the Dex train all night, and I was almost within reach to jump on.

We danced until the DJ broke things up for the champagne toast, and then it was almost time for the countdown.

“Come with me.” Dex held out his hand. He led me out of the ballroom, and onto the outdoor balcony. It wasn’t cold out, but the wind was blowing, putting a chill in the air. Dex slipped out of his coat, and draped it over my shoulders. You could faintly hear the ocean in the distance. It was a clear night, and the sky was full of stars.

I could hear the crowd inside shouting as they counted down the last moments of the year. Dex turned to face me; he tucked a piece of hair behind my ear as he stared into my eyes. “I hope you know that my intentions tonight were to show you what could be. I know we’re friends, but I feel so much more than friendship between us. I think you do, too. I just don’t know why you’re fighting it so hard.” As soon as the words left his lips, “one” was shouted. Dex started to lean in for a slow kiss, but I couldn’t take it anymore. I reached up and grabbed his head, one hand on each side, pulling him into me. I smashed my lips against his, and with his mouth opened in surprise, I took advantage. I haven’t kissed a boy like this, ever. I’ve never wanted to be the aggressor, but Dex was different. He is different. Even though I don’t want him to, he means something more. I’m tired of fighting it, just like him.

When I pulled back, we both stared at each other before my eyes dropped to the ground in front of us. “Happy New Year,” I whispered.

“Tell me that was more than a ‘Happy New Year’ kiss.” He reached for my chin, lifting it so our eyes met. “Tell me when the sun comes up, I’m not going to think this was all a dream. Tell me that you’re going to keep trying.”

I swallowed as his words hit me. “I’m going to keep trying, but there’s something I need to tell you first, and then if you still want to try after… I’m all in.”

Chapter 8

Bailey

Ever have one of those days when you wish you were someone else? I’ve asked myself on more than one occasion if all the heartache and suffering I’ve dealt with was worth it. I carry my history with me all the time. It’s like this imaginary backpack that’s just always there. I try not to dwell on it, and I tell myself to live life to the fullest, but the idea of my sickness coming back at any time keeps me from sharing my life with others. Madi’s been there since I first healed, and she’s understood to an extent how I feel, but letting someone who I could really care about, like Dex, into that world scares the ever-loving shit outta me. What if I fall in love, and then something happens?

Since he dropped me off early this morning, I’ve been attempting to sleep. I promised I’d meet him for a late breakfast today to talk about our kiss. I have to tell him why I am the way I am. I have to be open and honest, and the wait is kinda killing me. I’ve been lying here in the middle of my bed, staring at the ceiling for the last hour. It’s only six a.m. Dex dropped me off a little after one. I honestly don’t know how I’m awake right now.

It's raining outside, and as I lie here, I’m counting the splashes the raindrops make as they hit my window. The sun is slowly peeking over the building beside ours, and just as I’m about to go wake Madi, I can smell the coffee brewing. I rolled out of bed much perkier than I should have, and shuffled to the kitchen.

“How are you awake right now?” Madi looked surprised when I rounded the corner.

“Couldn’t sleep. I’m telling him today.” I reached for the coffee pot and poured myself a cup.

“Good. You need to.” Madi sighed as she sipped her own coffee. “I’m tired of watching you two dance around each other. He likes you, and I think you like him. Just date, and make cute little babies, and be happy.”

“It’s not that easy,” I murmured.

“It is that easy. Be with him the way you are with everything else. I’ve seen you bungie jump, Bay. I know that dating Dex is way less scary than that.” She laughed lightly.

“I don’t wanna hurt him.” I stared out the window across the room.

“You’re already doing that. He likes you. Hell, he might even love you by now, and you won’t let him in. That’s hurting him.” She turned to face me, and leaned against the counter. “You keep thinking about him in a worst case scenario. Think about the best case.”

“I’m trying. I really am.” I twisted my mouth as thoughts of a future with Dex filled them. I’ve lived my life this way for so long, that changing is a lot harder than it sounds.

ooooooooo

Dex

The All-Night Eggplant has the best breakfast around. They stay open around the clock, and most of the time you have to wait for a table. Occasionally, I’ll sit at the counter, but something told me to get a table with some privacy today.

Bailey’s supposed to meet me here at ten. I’m early. It’s been raining all morning, so waiting in the car isn’t very appealing. I decided to go ahead and try to get a table. Surprisingly, it’s not that busy today. I’m guessing the fact that it’s New Year’s is part of that. People went out last night, and are probably sleeping. It’s what I should be doing, but I know whatever she’s going to tell me today is something important. I know that it’s whatever has been holding her back, and I know that I need to be here.

I ordered some coffee and took a booth in the back corner. Just as I was adding some cream to it, the bell on the door jingled. I happened to look up, and there she was. I know that most girls don’t think they look pretty when they have that lounge look going on, but Bailey looks beautiful in anything. She had her hair twisted up on top of her head, and was wearing a gray hoodie and matching sweatpants. She smiled awkwardly when she saw me, and began making her way over to our table. I waved in return, and then motioned to the server. They both arrived at the same time.

“I wasn’t sure what you’d want to drink,” I clarified when she sat down.

“Coffee’s fine.” She smiled at the server, and then began twisting her fingers nervously.

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