Page 2 of With Every Breath

I’m going to beat you. I’m stronger than you, and I have people who love me, and hate you too. You’ll see. You’re going down.

I stabbed the pen against the paper before ripping it from my notebook. I stared at the words I’d scribbled before balling the paper up and tossing it in my trash can. I crossed my arms over my chest and flopped back against the bed. I was tired from the emotional outburst, and my body ached.

“Why is this happening?” I asked no one in particular. My head rolled to the side where last year’s soccer trophy sat. My club team won first place. The high school was already scouting me. I only had two more years before I could play varsity. That wasn’t going to happen now. Even if I got better, missing two years of playing time was going to end my career before it truly started. It was just another reason to hate Bob.

Chapter 2

Bailey age 14

“What do you think he’s going to say?” I nervously kicked my heel at the wooden leg of the exam table.

“I don’t know.” Mom sighed. That’s been her go to answer for the last two years. Dr. Fromm promised me the last time I was here that things were looking better. I was feeling better, and I kept telling my mom that had to mean something.

“You always say that,” I grumbled.

“I don’t want you to get your hopes up, honey. We’ve been let down before, and I’m just trying to be realistic.”

“Don’t you want me to get better?” My mouth dropped open as I stared at her. I was trying to not get worked up, but lately I feel like we don’t agree on anything.

“Of course I do. Why would you ask that?” Just as she started to put the book she’d been reading in her purse, there was a knock at the door.

“Bailey! How are you feeling today?” Dr. Fromm pulled a stool out and sat down in front of me.

“That depends on what you have to tell me.” I crossed my arms over my chest and tried to read his face.

“When are soccer tryouts starting?” He smiled.

“In the fall.” I stared at him harder.

“I think if you take it easy, you might just be playing next year.” He smiled.

“I’m better?” I gasped.

“We like to say you’re in remission, but yes… better.” He turned toward my mom at that point, and I stopped listening. The part about me being better was all I needed to hear.

ooooooooo

Bailey age 17

“You know your mom is going to ground you for the rest of your life if she catches us.” My best friend Madilyn smiled as I tossed my bag in the back of her car.

“Eh.” I shrugged. “We won states. I’m leaving for college in the summer.” Laughing, I motioned for her to get in. I didn’t have my own car yet. I was still sharing with whichever parent was home when I needed to go somewhere. My mom became super over-protective when I went into remission three years ago. I, on the other hand, became fearless. I began living life as if it were my last day. I’d come too close to dying back then, and I never wanted to feel that fear or helplessness ever again.

“If you’re sure?” Madi tipped her head to the side.

“Get in the car, Madilyn.” I narrowed my eyes as I slipped into the passenger seat and waited. My parents thought I was staying at Madi’s for the night. I was pretty good at convincing them to let me do things when it came to Madi.

Madilyn and I met when I started high school. She was the first friend I made who didn’t question the buzz cut I was sporting when I walked in on my first day. My hair was just starting to grow back, and everyone was whispering. They thought I couldn’t tell, but I knew. Madi’s locker was across the hall from mine. She came over and slung her arm around me, and acted as if we’d known each other forever. Turned out, she was the goalie for the team, and we became fast friends. We’ve pretty much been inseparable since. The best part… we were both accepted to the same college. Next fall, we’ll be teammates at Pepperdine University.

Madi drove to the outskirts of our little town, and parked in the grass by the place we called “the field”. I think the owner used to plant corn in it, but now it’s a celebratory hangout spot for the high school kids.

The sun was setting over the trees in the distance, and a large bonfire was blazing. Kids, mostly juniors and seniors, were gathered around. Some in chairs, some standing, all holding red cups. I climbed out and grinned at Madi. “Let’s celebrate!” I shut the door with one hand, and smacked the roof of the car with the other.

“Hey! It’s the rest of the state champs!” Devin, one of the boys’ team members, called out as I stomped through the grass.

“We are so gonna be dead,” Madi mumbled.

“Live a little.” I winked as I reached the group. “We’re not dead if we don’t get caught, and we’re not going to get caught.” I took the cup Devin was offering, and sipped it. It was sweet at first, and then burned my throat as I swallowed. “What is this?”

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