Page 32 of With Every Breath

Once inside, Dex met me and walked me over to the table where the food had been set up. Guests had already helped themselves, and were happily mingling with each other. My parents joined Dex’s at a table off to the side. The MC came through the crowd and handed Dex a microphone.

“What are you doing?” I whispered.

“Thanking everyone.” He shrugged. After a few words of thanks to the guests and our family, I finally began to relax. I wasn’t feeling as stressed as earlier, but I still was ready to be finished.

We enjoyed our food, while making our way to each table to say a few words. Dex was the charmer, as always, and I smiled and hugged people as if I’d just won the NCAA soccer championship.

After greeting everyone, we made our way to the dance floor. Dex pulled me close, and I linked my arms around his neck. “Are you having fun?” He leaned in and kissed right below my ear.

“As much as I can.” I smiled. “I’m not a party girl. I like the simple things.”

“What do you think our parents are going to do whenever we do have a baby? Trust me when I tell you, my mom will be planning over the top parties every chance she gets.” Dex chuckled as he turned us around.

“Can’t wait.” I sighed as I leaned in and placed my head on his shoulder.

The rest of the night went much like any other reception would. We cut the cake, tossed a bouquet, and posed for countless pictures. My parents were happy, and Dex’s seemed to be. I’d call it a success. When the end of the night came, Dex and I rode in the town car back to our condo. Mom and Dad sat in the front. When we arrived, we made plans for brunch the next day before they had to fly home.

We climbed out, and waved as they drove away. “See, that wasn’t so bad.” He grinned as he tossed his arm around my shoulders.

“I’m just glad we were able to see everyone. I’m tired, and I kinda just want to go to bed. Is that ok with you?” I peered up at him. The moon was out, and our faces were glowing in its light.

“You mean I get a night off?” He placed his hand over his heart and looked at me, shocked.

“You are so not funny.” I elbowed his stomach as I lifted the bottom of my dress to climb the steps. “You have to be the only man on the planet who thinks having sex every night is too often.” I shook my head as I glanced over my shoulder at him. “I’m going to remember this when I’m tired and have been up all night with a baby, and you want to know when we’re going to “do it” again.”

“I love that you’re like this.” He caught up to me and reached past me to unlock the door. “I’d be with you multiple times a day if I had the time. Work is just crazy right now, and I want this to be something that’s for us, not just a tool for getting a child.” He opened the door, and then turned me to face him. He placed his hands on my shoulders, halting me in place. “I know you want a baby. I do, too. I also know the kind of determination you have. I know that when you want something, you go after it regardless of how hard you have to work. I don’t want you to push so hard. Let’s just enjoy each other, and if it happens, it happens, ok?” He bent his knees to look me in the eye.

“Yeah. Ok.” I nodded. I didn’t want to tell him I’d bought a bulk box of pregnancy tests, and some ovulation kits, too. I’d just use them, and tell him when I got the results I was looking for. It’s not like he could do anything any different anyway.

“Let’s get some rest, and maybe we can have a little fun in the morning before brunch.” He smiled as he stepped back to let me pass.

“Sounds like a plan.” I giggled as Dex lifted his arms in a “raise the roof” movement. “That bed is calling me.” He hooted before locking the door and turning out the lights. I pushed the baby-making thoughts to the back of my head. I’d talk to my mom tomorrow and see what she thought. She was always the stoic one when I had treatments.

Chapter 15

Bailey

I’d like to say that it’s worked and I’m pregnant, but that would be a big fat lie. It’s been a year, and every month has been a letdown. Dex has gently tried to push me into seeing Dr. Bradley, but I’m still not ready to admit that we might need help. I’ve been reading up on different diets to try, I’ve counted the days of my cycle, but those aren’t always right. Some months I don’t have a cycle, and then I feel like I’ve wasted my time. Other months, I just don’t feel like trying. I want a baby so bad, and I’m running out of patience fast. Dex has been a rock through the whole thing, but I know he’s starting to feel like it’s all mechanical now, and not the pleasure we once enjoyed. Sex has turned into a job; a job I don’t think he likes anymore.

“Honey? I’m home!” The door clicked shut. We’ve moved into a small house a few blocks from the beach. It’s nice having more space, and we have a room for whenever our family starts to grow. It’s closer to the rec center where I’ve been coaching, too.

“Back here!” I called from the bedroom. I was waiting on my latest pregnancy test. According to my calculations and the ovulation kit I used, last week was perfect timing. I was a day late, and now a ball of nerves.

“How was your day?” Dex smiled as he tossed his briefcase on the chair in the corner of our bedroom.

“Okay, I guess. I’m really tired though. I feel like I could take a nap right now, and I slept almost eleven hours last night.”

“Maybe it’s from the stress.” He moved closer and sat down beside me.

“I’m not stressed,” I grumbled.

“Anxious, stressed, whatever you want to call it, that’s what you are. Look!” He pointed at my bouncing knee. “You’re doing it right now. Was it negative again?” He began rubbing my back.

“I don’t know.” I sighed. “I’m afraid to look.” I motioned to the bathroom. I’ve seen the single pink line so many times now that I’ve lost count. Every month it’s been a no. I go through a cycle of depression followed by renewed hope that we can try again.

“If it is, promise me you’ll call Dr. Bradley tomorrow. We at least need to hear her out.” He hugged me.

“I just wanted to do this on my own.” I held back a sob.

---