Page 11 of The Night the Stars Went Dark

“Now say it like you mean it.”

“You’re right.” I sniffed. “I need to trust myself. What am I going to do when you’re not around anymore?” I tipped my head back to look at the sky. It was peppered with stars. My head lolled to the side. “You keep me grounded.”

“Aw, thanks.” He laughed. “I’m sure you’re going to be too busy to have time for me when you’re playing Carnegie.”

“I’ll always have time for you,” I whispered. I lifted my head and we stared at each other, only a few inches separating us. We stared, unblinking, just waiting for the other to move. We’d never crossed the line of friendship and I wasn’t sure I wanted to. Bryson was my rock here, and what if we ruined it all? Just as I started to say something the door slammed, causing us to jump apart. He rubbed his eyes, and I turned to see who broke the moment.

“Sorry—” a guy in a blue shirt waved “—I didn’t know anyone was up here.”

“No worries,” Bryson called. The guy went back inside and left us in the awkward moment. “I need to get to work.” He started cleaning up our papers. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah. I think I’m going to spend a little more time here. The stars are really pretty, and I think I’m finally able to relax a little.” I smiled softly. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He kind of jogged away, giving me a wave in the process.

“See ya,” I called before turning back to look out into the night. This building was taller than most of the others, so the lights were below me. It felt calming to be surrounded by the darkness.

I stayed there staring out into the darkness until my sleep deprivation took over. I was so tired from pushing myself, and as I made my way back inside and down to the ground level, I began to question why I was stressing so hard. Bryson and my dad were right. I just needed to trust that I had prepared enough and give myself the chance to prove it.

I gathered my things from my practice room and cut through campus to go home. It didn’t take long, and when I flopped down on my bed and let my eyes close, I finally relaxed and slept well for the first time in weeks. Senior Showcase was in two weeks, and I was going to nail it.

Chapter 7

Aspen

Senior Showcase day. I’ve been both dreading and looking forward to this moment for most of my college career. Everyone knows that this is the moment you get hired. Everyone in the industry is invited to watch us perform, and many will walk away with a job offer. I’ve been preparing for this all year. I sifted through music, added lesson time with my professors, practiced until my fingers went numb, and prayed that I’m good enough. It isn’t something that can be redone. Once you step on that stage and into the light, it’s game time.

“You’ve got this.” I’ve been staring at this little piece of paper for the last ten minutes. The words are scribbled on a napkin from Cool Beans. I stuck it on the mirror over my sink two nights ago when Bryson gave it to me. He’s been pushing me to relax for weeks. Between him and my dad, I don’t know who’s tried harder to convince me that I’ve got it in the bag. I have three more hours until I have to be at the auditorium. I received letters this last week from the Boston and New York Symphonies. New York has always been a dream, but being near home would be nice too. The only thing is, I’ve been the backup for my dad. He hasn’t retired yet, and I don’t see that happening in the near future.

I paced back over to my bed. It’s like being a caged animal in this apartment. There’s no room, and when I’m anxious like this, I need to move. I grabbed my phone and went outside. There’s an ice cream shop a few blocks away, and ice cream is the answer to everything.

It’s beautiful out today. Summer is right around the corner, and everyone walks everywhere. I’m trying to enjoy the weather and calm my nerves just as my phone rings. I smiled when I glanced at the caller ID and saw it was my dad. “Hey.” I grinned as I answered the phone.

“How’s the newest pianist for the New York Symphony doing?” I could hear the happiness in his voice. He didn’t sound like this often. After Mom died, he became very quiet. The moments I got the happy carefree man he once was were few and far between. Music was one of the only things that brought out that side of him.

“I don’t have the job yet.” I sighed as I heaved open the door to Mike’s Sweets Shop.

“You will. Just remember to pace yourself and don’t let your nerves or surroundings distract you.” The more serious tone was coming out.

“Yes. We’ve been through this. I’m trying to stay calm, remember?” I reached the counter. “Double chocolate cone,” I rambled off, paid, and then went back to my conversation with my dad.

“Where are you?” He laughed lightly.

“Getting ice cream. I felt like I was suffocating at home. It’s a nice day.” I accepted the cone from the guy at the counter, and then began the walk home. “I needed to get out.”

“You get that from your mother.” A melancholy sound filled his voice. “Well, I won’t keep you. I just wanted to check in. I’ll see you at the showcase. I’ve got front row seats.” The happy sound was back.

“I’ll be looking. Maybe we can grab dinner after,” I suggested.

“Sounds good. I love you.”

“Love you too, Dad.” I hung up and stuffed my phone back in my pocket. I took a giant lick of my cone before wandering around to the grassy area by my building. There were tables for outdoor eating set up, and I really didn’t want to go back inside just yet.

“This is it,” I mumbled under my breath as I paced the wings. I could hear cello music filling the auditorium. I was sure Bryson was blowing them away. I had a while to wait for my turn. I was last. This was a coveted spot, but I have no idea why. Waiting all this time. Listening to everyone else. I just wanted to preform and get it over with. I needed to get it over with.

I continue to move about backstage. Clenching my fists until my nails cut into my palms. Trying to be quiet as my heels clicked along the wooden stage. It was maddening. Applause erupted when Bryson played his final chord, and I moved to meet him when he stepped off stage.

“You were amazing.” I grinned.

“You’re just saying that. Did you actually listen or are you back here wearing a path down on the floor?” He laughed as he crossed his arms over his chest.

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