Page 106 of The Woman Left Behind

“I’m not scared,” I said into his skin. “I just don’t know how to deal with all I’ve lost and all I’ve gained all at the same time.”

His arms around me spasmed.

I turned my head so I could rest my cheek on his shoulder and snaked my arm around his flat belly. “I’ll tell you if Willie or any of the Zowkowers contact me.”

“Okay, Lilly,” he murmured.

“This is it, isn’t it?” I whispered, hope heavy in my tone.

He knew what I was asking, I knew with how tight he held me before he loosened his hold.

“This is it, sweetheart. You okay with that?”

I hadn’t been okay for sixteen years.

Now, I knew they were gone and would never come back, not really. Just what was left of them would.

But I was more than okay.

And they would be okay, knowing how okay I was.

“So okay, we’re redefining the word okay with how okay I am,” I said.

I felt his body relax.

“I wish you knew them,” I whispered.

“I wish I did too,” he returned my whisper.

“I think Maddie’s right. Ronnie told me all she has planned for them, and it’s perfect. I think when it happens, it’ll help a lot.”

“Rus was worried she was too forthright. They try to encourage that with her, but sometimes it’s the wrong time.”

“She wasn’t too forthright. Kids are smarter than we give them credit for, and if we’d just listen, we’d know it.”

“Yeah.” He caught a lock of my hair and started twirling it. “You want kids?”

Oh, we were definitely getting into the deep stuff.

“Yeah.”

“How many?”

“Two, maybe three. You?”

“Two.” He tugged playfully on my hair. “Maybe three.”

I smiled against his shoulder.

“Boys? Girls? You care?” I asked.

“Healthy,” he answered.

And there I was…

So, so deep.

And it was warm and safe down there with Harry, not exposed and alone with the storms of life buffeting me at random.

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