Page 135 of On Thin Ice

“I thought he was using you! I thought he was trying to . . .I don’t know . . .find his youth again. Pretend that he wasn’t old and retired. Use you up for everything you are that’s bright and . . .wonderful. And I couldn’t stand that. I couldn’t stand anyone doing that to you, but that it was Braun?” Morgan shook his head. “I couldn’t handle it. And I’m sorry about that, but not that sorry.”

“Not that sorry?”

Morgan shrugged, looking a little embarrassed. “I know you’re all grown-up now. Self-sufficient. You take care of yourself. Youalways have. But forgive an old man for still worrying about you. For loving you.” He looked down at the ground, at his shoes, and Finn felt his throat tighten.

“You didn’t have to call him those things, you know,” Finn said quietly. “He’s a good man. He . . .it was exactly what you said, why he didn’t want to make a move on me. He liked me too much. Didn’t want to take advantage or force me into something I wasn’t ready for.”

“I know.” Morgan looked like he was admitting this only under duress.

“I really care about him. I . . .” Finn moistened his lips. Realizing suddenly what he’d nearly said.

“You love him,” Morgan said with resignation.

Finn felt like he’d just been plugged into the nearest socket and lit up inside. Why hadn’t he noticed this before? Because it hadn’t felt any different than before—like a slow, gradual,inevitableslide into love. “I think so, yeah.Yeah.”

Morgan cleared his throat. “I . . .I want to say I’m angry about that, but I’m not. At all. He’s . . .well, he’ll do right by you, I think. Heisdoing right by you. You’re playing so great, Finn. Like . . .” He hesitated, and Finn braced himself for what was coming next. An old habit that seemed sometimes like it was impossible to break. “Like for the first time you don’t give a shit what anyone thinks about you. Only what you think of yourself. I wanted you to find that for so long, and I didn’t think you could, I was worried you never would, and that’s why I pushed so hard and made everything terrible—”

“You didn’t make everything terrible.” Okay, noteverything, anyway. Finn could see their history with clearer eyes than he ever had before. Maybe Morgan had been overenthusiastic, but he’d been oversensitive. They’d fed into the worst of each other’s pain.

Morgan looked at him with hope in his eyes. “No?”

Finn stood and pulled his dad into a tight hug. “No. I kind of made them terrible, too.”

Morgan gripped him tight and Finn thought the lump in his throat couldn’t expand any farther, but it did.

“Let’s not make them terrible anymore,” he murmured into Finn’s shoulder, and he could only nod, words lost in his tight throat.

They broke apart.

Morgan surreptitiously wiped his eyes and Finn could only laugh.

“I should . . .uh . . .” Morgan gestured towards the door.

Suddenly, it was very obvious what he should say. Something he couldn’t even have imagined three months ago but now seemed like the most natural thing in the world.

“Hey, I thought you said you wanted to share the ice?” Finn asked. “Come skate with me.”

Finn was almost done getting dressed before finishing his warmups on the ice when Jacob showed up.

“Sorry,” he said, dropping his bag down on the bench. “I got caught up with chatting with Neal about the podcast, and I totally lost track of time.”

“Yeah?” Finn asked. “It’s going well?”

“I knew I would like him, but I really like him,” Jacob said.

Finn grinned. “Should I be jealous?”

“Not at all.” Jacob glanced over and the look in his eyes was as good as a kiss. “You almost ready?”

How did he not know he loved Jacob? It was so obvious now, now that he was looking for it. Now that he had acknowledged it was true.

“Yeah,” Finn said. He opened his mouth to tell Jacob that his dad was here and that he was going to skate with them, but before he could, Morgan walked through the door from the bathroom, dressed for the ice.

Jacob raised an eyebrow. “What did I miss?”

“Everything, as usual,” Morgan retorted.

“Do I need to repeat the rule?” Finn threatened. Morgan looked ashamed—slightly, anyway. He turned to Jacob and said, “He’s going to skate with us.”

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