Page 141 of On Thin Ice

Jacob cleared his throat, trying to focus. Finn had agreed to help him with the last of his podcast preparation—he was flying out first thing in the morning and by tomorrow night it would be done—and heneededit.

“I don’t think they typically do, but this is more . . .uh . . .delicate than the norm,” Jacob said.

Finn nodded in understanding. “Okay, let’s go over some of these questions. From the top or is there a particular one you want to work on?”

The only question he hadn’t worked on yet. Had he been putting it off? Maybe. Okay,definitely.

“Uh . . .the last section.”

Finn’s eyes scanned the page and then he glanced up at Jacob. “This is the coming out question.”

Jacob picked at a thread coming loose from the comforter. “Yeah. I . . .uh . . .was saving the best for last?”

“Is that what it is, really?” Finn asked and Jacob wanted to hide his face, but he didn’t, because that seemed horribly cowardly and he wasn’t a coward.

But geez, how often was Finn going to hold his hand through this?

“I’m going to do it,” Jacob said firmly. That was not up for debate. Sophie had found the one way to do this that he could actually stand, and Neal was great—supportive and smart and savvy—and Jacob had learned enough to know that if he did want the focus to be where it was supposed to be, then he had to do this.

But that didn’t mean he had tolikeit.

“I didn’t think you wouldn’t,” Finn said quietly. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Did he? No. But he thought he probably should.

“It’s not that I care what people think. I don’t. I don’t care what they say even, even if it’s to my face—”

“It wouldn’t be,” Finn said soothingly, reaching out and gripping his hand. “They wouldn’t dare.”

“They might,” Jacob said. He’d prepared himself for it. “It’s not any of those things. It’s that they’re gonna be talking aboutmeat all.I just didn’t want to make a big deal out of this. I just wanted to live my life, the way I wanted to live it.”

“Like I did.” Finn cleared his throat. “I never really ‘came out.’ I just did whatever the fuck I wanted to. Which was guys.” He smiled then, dimples showing, and Jacob had never loved him as much as he did in that moment, because Jacob couldn’t help but smile too.

“I can’t do that, I get that. I was . . .too much time’s gone by with me in the closet, and now the foundation I’m starting . . .Igetit. But I don’t like it.”

“You’re allowed to be afraid, too, you know?”

Jacob shot Finn a look. “Is that what you think?”

“I think you’d have to be a lot stupider tonotbe afraid at all. It’s scary, and it’s okay to admit that.”

Jacob was floored. He shouldn’t have been, but every time he thought he knew how beautiful, inside and out, Finn was, he was surprised again.

“Okay,” Jacob admitted softly. “I’m a little afraid, too. Less than I was, but . . .”

“It’s fine, it’s gonna be okay.” Finn squeezed his hand. “I wish I could be there for you.”

Finn hadn’t been able to swing the trip, because he had class and then practice, but he’d made enough noise about skipping both that Jacob had had to put his foot down. He’d be fine. He’d have Mark and Sophie there, and Neal was on his side, too.

There’d be plenty of support.

“It’s okay really. You’ve been here for the hardest part. The part—” Jacob’s voice cracked. “The part I needed you for. ’Cause you’re good at this, you know? So supportive. You’d be so good at this.”

“Counseling people about to come out? I’ll keep that in my back pocket for twenty years from now.”

“You should. You’re wonderful. Amazing.” Jacob was aware he’d lost control of his own mouth, and it was making sounds and forming words maybe it shouldn’t. But he couldn’t stop it. Not any longer. He pressed a kiss to Finn’s head. “Perfect. The most perfect. And I love you.”

Finn was completely still for a second, staring at Jacob with his jaw dropped, and then he threw his arms around Jacob and hugged him tightly.

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