Page 51 of On Thin Ice

“Don’t worry, I didn’t tell him,” Finn said wryly.

Jacob didn’t say anything, just nodded as he unlocked the door of a dark blue Mercedes SUV.

They got in, and Jacob started the car.

“I think it would be really hard to retire before you were ready. Even when it would’ve been so much easier for me tonotplay hockey—to do just about anything else, honestly—I still wanted to do it, and I still thought it was worth it.”

“Yeah.”

Finn made a face. “Clearly you don’t want to talk about it. Guess I can’t blame you for that.” It was going to be a long hour, though, if Jacob didn’t want to talk to him. If he really believed that staying silent would somehow keep Finn at arm’s length.

As Jacob pulled onto the highway heading north towards Portland, he stayed silent.

Finn opened his mouth—maybe Jacob didn’t want to talk about his retirement but the game had to be allowed territory, right?—but before he could bring up anything, Jacob actually spoke.

“Itwashard to retire before I wanted to. But it’s been weird since. Because on one hand, I’mhappy. Really happy. The possibility of coming out, of living honestly?”

“You could’ve done it before now,” Finn said, making sure his tone was free of judgment.

“And let that be all anyone ever wanted to say about me? No. I didn’t want that. For others, that’s fine, but I’m too private.”Jacob drummed fingers against the steering wheel. Still looking like he didn’t want to discuss this.

Finn nodded. “Makes sense.”

“So Iamhappy. Relieved almost. No more worrying about getting outed. If the one or two guys I hook up with every year will blab, despite the NDA they sign.”

Finn froze. “Wait,” he said. “Oneortwohookupsa year?”

“Youwouldfocus on that,” Jacob said dryly.

“No wonder you’re happy. I’d be fucking thrilled.”

“Sex isn’t everything.” Jacob cleared his throat, and Finn watched as his fingers tightened on the wheel, his knuckles going white.

“That’s what people say when they haven’t had a lot of really, really good sex,” Finn teased, because he couldn’t help himself.

Maybe it wasn’t fair—but he’d been right, hadn’t he?God, if anyone needed a pressure valve release, it was Jacob Braun.

“You’re twenty-one years old. Don’t tell meyou’vehad a lot of really, really good sex,” Jacob said and then looked like he immediately regretted saying anything at all. “Nevermind. Don’t answer that.Pleasedon’t answer that.”

“Oh, but Iwantto,” Finn said, just to see Jacob’s reaction. He was rewarded by a tightening of that glorious jaw.

His profile was black and white in the dim light of the car, illuminated briefly every once in awhile as a car passed them on the freeway. His dark beard was thick and looked soft, but Finn’s fingers itched to feel his face. To trace its shape. He’d be handsome, maybe even beautiful, without it.

And with it? He was still so fucking hot.

“The answer is that I guess I don’t know,” Finn continued. “I’ve had what Ithoughtwas really good sex, but when you’re eighteen and anyone but you touches your dick, it feels great.”

“Or when you’re twenty-one and anyone but you touches your dick,” Jacob deadpanned.

Finn had to give him that. “True,” he said.

Speaking of his dick, it was undeniably interested in this conversation, thickening in his slacks. He resisted the urge to shift in the seat and give away that all it took to give him a hard-on was listening to Jacob Braun say the worddick.

He’d finagled his way into this car with the idea of seducing Jacob. That it would be easy-ish. Now Finn knew just how easy it would be. Jacob was probably panting for it. But now he also knew just how complicated it was too, because it wouldn’t just be a hookup to Jacob. It would be the start of the rest of his life. A life lived openly and freely.

Finn wanted to be ready for that, but he didn’t know if he was. He was still so fucking tangled up with all Morgan’s crap. Was he ready to take more baggage on? Ready to takeJacob’sbaggage on?

He changed the subject, telling himself that it was the only sane thing to do in this situation.

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