Page 52 of On Thin Ice

Besides, his balls would thank him later.

“So you’re happy because you can finally live the way you’ve wanted to, but you know it came at a steep price.”

Jacob glanced over at him, and Finn caught the surprise on his face. Had he really expected Finn to push? To keep talking about sex until there was nothing to do but pull over and go at each other on the side of I-5?

Frankly, it had been tempting, so Finn understood the assumption a little too well.

“Basically yeah,” Jacob admitted. “Every moment I think how happy I am, how happy Icouldbe, in that hazy future I want, the guilt at what I paid for it kills me. It’s . . .it’s complicated.”

Finn told himself that was why it had been smart to change the subject. This thing was messy enough, with even the thought of Morgan lingering between them like a bad smell.

“But you still want to come out,” Finn said.

Jacob nodded. “I’m working on it, anyway. Mostly because my PR rep, Sophie, tells me if I want to publicize this foundation I’m starting, I have to do that first.”

“What kind of foundation?”

“Support for LGBT kids who want to participate in athletics,” Jacob said.

It was exactly the kind of thing that he’d imagined Jacob might do, but he was still surprised at how touched he was. “That’s awesome,” Finn said. “We need more of that.”

“We do,” Jacob said. Finn had changed the subject once himself, so he could hardly be annoyed when Jacob did it, now. “You want to talk about that last bit before the end of the first period?”

He didn’t. Especially because it had worked out, in the end. But ostensibly this was why he’d hitched a ride with Jacob. Ignoring the voice inside him that argued, claiming that he’d just wantedmoretime with the guy, no matterwhatthey talked about, Finn nodded.

For the next forty-five minutes, he and Jacob broke down the game, going over a number of plays. If Finn had worried that Jacob would be overly critical, he wasn’t. He didn’t hesitate to call him out if he deserved it but he never rubbed the mistakes in, and he didn’t hold back on compliments, of which there were a surprising number.

When Finn commented on that, when they were only maybe five minutes away from campus, Jacob shot him a surprised look. “You didn’t think there’d be a lot to compliment in your game?” he said.

“Well, no, not exactly,” Finn hedged.

“Don’t tell me you thought I’d be like your dad, because if you’d thought that, you’d never have come to me in the first place,” Jacob muttered.

“Maybe I came to you because you’re hot, and I was craving some of your ‘special’ one-on-one tutoring,” Finn teased.

Jacob rolled his eyes. “Don’t change the subject.”

“Yeah, I got a shutout, but—”

“No buts,” Jacob said insistently. “You got the shutout, you got the win, so you take it. Accept it. Celebrate it. Then we move on.”

“Okay.”

“Remember what I told you between the first and second period?”

“Not everything has to be perfect to be handled.”

“Exactly.” Jacob’s chin rose. “You handled your shit today. Was it all perfect? It never is. There’s always room for improvement, for growth. That’s what keeps us moving forward. But there’s also room to acknowledge everything you did right.”

“Thanks,” Finn said quietly.

Jacob pulled over in front of the quad. “This okay?” he asked. “I realized, I wasn’t sure where you lived . . .”

“You asking to be invited up?” Finn teased.

“Don’t do that,” Jacob said and he reached over, cupping his chin with a big warm hand. Calloused in all the right places. Finn felt the thrill of it all the way down. “Don’t deflect with a joke.”

His hand dropped.

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