Page 15 of On Thin Ice

“There’s lots of mindset coaches out there,” Jacob reminded him. “That’s not me.”

“I know, I’ve been to them. I changed coasts. I changed colleges. I even fucking changed positions—”

“You’re a natural goalie. Morgan wasn’t wrong about that,” Jacob said.

And maybe that should’ve made him feel better, but it didn’t. Not really.

“It’s not enough,” Finn said. His throat felt tight but he managed to get the words out anyway. That was it, laid bare.

It wasn’t enough. Maybe it wouldn’t ever be enough.

“I wish I could help you, but I can’t.” Jacob’s face closed over, but that wasn’t enough either. Not enough to make Finn stop.

He wanted this too badly—not just for his father, anymore, but forhim—and over the last few weeks, ever since he’d surprised himself by asking Jacob to coach him, he’d become convinced that the only way to accomplish every goal he’d set for himself was to get Jacob on board.

“You can, you’re just saying no because . . .”

“Because?” Jacob asked, darkly amused. “Oh, please, enlighten me, kid.”

“I’m not a kid. I’m twenty-one. And I want a career like you.”

“Even if my career got cut short?”

“When you were on the ice, nobody could touch you,ever. Not even my dad. He hated you because you were better than he was.”

“That’s not necessarily true,” Jacob said wryly.

“Yes—”

“No,” Jacob interrupted, his voice firming. “No. He wasn’t better or worse than me, but you’re right, his bullshit mostly didn’t bother me.Mostly. Because there were definitely a few times he got to me.”

“That time you almost punched him in the face?”

Jacob chuckled. “Yeah. That’s one of them. I’m just saying,kid, don’t be like me. I’m not . . .”

Finn wasn’t going to accept it. Either Jacob’s no, or the disparaging tone he talked about his career with.

“Tell me why you won’t, and we’ll deal with it. It’s not money—”

“No.”

“It’s not because you got other things going on.”

“Ouch,” Jacob said.

“Is it my dad? Because I’m his son?”

“No, I never cared about what Morgan thinks,” Jacob said.

That was kind of what Finn had always figured anyway. That was how Jacob stayed unbothered by Morgan’s antics. He truly didn’t give a shit.

“But,” Jacob continued, “I don’t want to invite Morgan’s bullshit either.”

It wasn’t like Finn hadn’t tried not giving a shit. He had.

He’d just never evolved to that higher plane of being, despite all his efforts.

“Then what the fuck is it?” Finn wanted to know. If Jacob would tell him why then he could deal with it. He could get around it and convince Jacob to change his mind.

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