“You have to relax, Jillian.”
He trailed his fingers up and down my back, into my hair, kissing my neck. It wasn’t working anymore. I suddenly had a sick desire to know how many women he’d coaxed through this before. No. I pushed that out of my head. I saw right through myself.I’m onto you, Jillian.I was trying to feel as squeamish as possible so I’d have reason to give up.
As if painfully ripping apart my ass wasn’t reason enough.
“I’m trying, Chase. I thought I was.”
I’d been more than relaxed; I’d been so freaking turned on that my eyes were crossing. He’d spent an insane amount of time working me up when just the tone of his voice made me wet. But all that had come to a screeching halt when the big moment arrived.
“We don’t have to do this right now if you’re not ready. You asked me, remember?”
Not likely I’d forget. After our day at the farm, I’d never felt closer to him. I truly believed that we’d make it through anything. I wanted him to take every bad memory, every negative experience and transform it. I wanted to trust him with my body in every way, because he already wholly possessed my heart.
And, oh yeah. The thought of him telling me that day on our rock how good he could make it never left my mind. Thatmighthave factored into it too. Because if he could get me to feel any pleasure out of this, he was the ultimate rock star. The. Ultimate.
“No, I’m ready, Chase. I want this. I do. I’m just nervous.”
His lips against my shoulder blades, his fingertips brushing over my nipples, distracted me enough to moan. He was behind me but had moved downward until his hardness pushed on my thighs instead. The slickness from the lube he’d used earlier coated my skin.
“I know you are, baby.” It tickled when he grazed over my stomach, and I squirmed. “It might be uncomfortable at first, but the less tense you are, the quicker you’ll begin moaning and tightening around me.” His hand dipped between my legs, and I squirmed again. A lot. He hadn’t made me come yet, and I was sure that was all part of his evil plan.
“You’re so damn wet for me, Jillian. That’s a start.”
He slid two fingers inside, drawing them out and over my clit. “Only if we were fucking there,” I said, then gasped when he hit a sensitive spot.
“No, it tells me you’re enjoying this so far despite being scared.”
He pushed back inside, pulling out, but that time instead of moving forward he went back. “Of course I’m enjoying it. Until—” The tip of his finger entered my ass, and I froze again. “—that.”Chill out, Jillian.He went in deeper, and it was only one finger, but it might as well have been a boulder.
He’d used his finger earlier on me, but I still wasn’t used to it. It wasn’t so much discomfort as freaking myself out thinking of what was going to replace it. Thatwasa boulder.
“I’m going to try something different now,” he whispered. His other hand snaked around and went to my clit. As he massaged circles over it and teased my neck with his mouth, I was torn between loosening up and getting irritated. I couldn’t believe that it was my idea to waste a nonfertile day by asking him to stick his cock somewhere other than my pussy.
“Do you want to come, Jillian?”
“I don’t think I—ahhhh.” I was not expecting that rush. The one that just swept me up out of nowhere.What just happened here?My muscles were so damn loose; I no longer felt the intrusion.
“Fuck. I cannot wait to feel that when I’m fucking you.”
What is he talking about?Fucking me? No. Didn’t he hear me when I said I’d changed my mind, back before I’d changed it again? Well, I was changing it back once more.Now, what am I talking about?Dammit, I was confused.
He was stroking my clit again, making me tingle. “I’m not going to let you come down until we’re finished, Jillian. Every time you come for me, you’ll open a little more.”
I was trying to make sense of his words when I felt myself building for a second time. Sailing higher up that wall. More pressure behind me, but nothing I could focus on too long because another orgasm was starting to plow through me. Mmmmmmm.
The vibration of his voice was hot against my back, and I only saw a mass of contradictions behind my tightly squeezed lids. He was talking me through, that much I was aware, but the pain quickly knocked all my senses inside out. Or outside in. I couldn’t be sure of anything until more pleasant sensations rolled in, taking over, expanding my body in all the ways I loved.
Heavier on the pressure, slighter on the pain, another fucking orgasm to make me chase after my breath. He was cursing behind me, the digging of his fingers into my hip causing more hurt than anything else at the moment.
The last remaining shred of tension drifted off, and I finally gave him everything.Almost everything, I thought while feeling so fucking fantastic.I want a baby with this man, I screamed in my head. I wanted to experience everything possible in this lifetime with him. It was the endorphins talking. I knew that, and I didn’t give a shit.
My breathing was erratic, and I was positive if I opened my eyes, I’d have double vision. Coming had become the new ache, and my body was fast approaching its pleasure limit. I’d gone through far more intensity with Chase before, but yet he’d never floored me so hard.
Rock. Star.
Five kings.
I fucking had this. I leaned back and drained the rest of my Jack and Coke, minus the Coke. We’d long run out of soda and never bothered replacing it. The guy next to me sucking on a big fat one—Don, Dean?—folded. It was just the two of us now.