Page 125 of Love, Luck & Clusterf*ck

“What was he doing?”

“Drinking coffee.” He laughed. “You wouldn’t expect him to be eating a steak, would you? It is a coffee shop.” I didn’t laugh back. “Why the sudden interest in the boss’s recreational activities? Oh wait. I forgot I was talking to you. You’re probably interested in the brand of floss he uses.”

He was making a joke out of this, but I. Was. Not. Amused.

“Remember I asked you not to ask me why? Just one more question…. Was he alone?”

“No, there was a woman with him.”

Swallow it down, Perry. “By chance did she have blonde hair and look a lot like him?”Please, please, please.

“Nope, light brown.”

“Um, not sure if you caught her voice, but did she have an annoying, pompous accent?”

“No, but she had a cute, sexy one. Never heard anything like it before.”

Fuck!“Okay, thanks, Adam. I have to go.” The rolling nausea had turned into an ocean pulling me under. Fucking drowning me.

I tried calling Stephen’s allegedly dead phone—no answer—then typed out a quick text:Call me!

Then I scrolled through the call log on his house phone, finding Stefanie’s number. I was redialing before I’d even given a thought of what to say. It didn’t fucking matter; she didn’t pick up anyway.Fuck, fuck, fuck.

I was struggling to breathe, but I wouldn’t let this suffocate me. I had to get out of there. I needed to confront him, but it wouldn’t be on his home turf. I couldn’t do it in the place where he’d lied to me. He’d told me he wasn’t hooking up with her this weekend!

I went to pack my bags for the third time in three months. What a fucking joke. I couldn’t even look at Stephen’s room when I passed by. All those beautiful memories had turned to ugly trash. I’d even asked him tocomeinside me. What the hell was I thinking? I’d so badly wanted him to be different.

Well, he turned out to be different, all right. Congratulations to him. Out of all the guys I’d been with, he was the only one who had ever made me feel used. I felt lower than dirt. Discarded refuse. I believed wholeheartedly that our friendship had been genuine. Our night together was not.

Cold fucking. That’s all it was. I was the stupid one who had romanticized everything, turning it into something meaningful. He’d made promises, I’d fallen for them, and then he lost interest. Challenge conquered. See ya.

I threw my shit into the car, then booked a room. I snickered. Hey, at least I had one already picked out and ready to go. Sixty bucks a night. Can’t beat that.

It wasn’t until I was checked in, lying in the sterile empty bed and staring up at the peeling, dingy ceiling that I allowed myself to feel something other than anger.

And that’s when I cried myself to sleep.

I bolted upright to an obnoxious sound. My first thought was the fire alarm. I stumbled out of bed as my surroundings slowly cameinto focus. Dammit, I was in a cheap motel. It all hadn’t been some bad trip after all.

I slammed my hand down on the little radio alarm clock to shut it up. I had to get ready for work. I seriously—seriously—considered calling in sick, but I promised Adam that I’d not only be there but also put in extra hours. Fantastic.

After taking a crappy shower with the head the size of a thimble, I decided to turn on my phone. I’d shut it down right after he’d tried calling around midnight, waking me up. That must’ve been when he’d finished withher. I never answered. The pissed-off me had wanted to confront him, but the hurting me wanted to hide in a hole and lick my wounds. And I thought what had happened with Dre and Christa had been heart-rending. Ha. Turned out that was just practice for the main event.

He’d never left a message, but there was a short text following the missed call:We need to talk.

Sure thing, buddy. We’d do that just as soon as I got angry again.

By the time I made it into work, I was a complete mess of tangled nerves. It was painful. I wasn’t sure how I’d react to seeing him behind those glass walls, acting business as usual. I hoped he didn’t even notice me. I hoped he did. I hoped he wanted to sever our friendship. I hoped he begged for my forgiveness so I could knee him in the balls.

I hoped that someone would create a time machine in the next thirty seconds so I could go back the way we were before The Mistake.

My heart jackhammered harder as I came closer to the room. I swiftly strolled past the office.Don’t look, Perry. Don’t look.Dammit. Wait… wait just a frickin’ minute.

Mr. Krismer was back.

I did a double take before going to my station. This was almost worse. No, there was no almost about it. It wasdefinitelyworse. I hadn’t wanted to see him, but now that he was gone… I didn’t know what the fuck I wanted.

He’d never said goodbye.

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