Page 133 of Love, Luck & Clusterf*ck

“She’s just someone I saw every few months when she came into town. I have no idea why Perry thinks what she does. Yeah, I saw Stefanie on Sunday after I left your house, but it was just to meet her at Ground Creek. I thought it was only right to speak to her in person about putting an end to any future meetings.”

Even after I saw her with Dre, I still wanted nothing further to do with Stefanie. I felt like a pussy even thinking it, but after my night with Perry, being with another woman just felt hollow.

I paced harder, trying to figure this shit out. Adam likely told her that he saw us at the coffee shop, but I know he wouldn’t have made it out to be anything more. He was always rooting for us, even if I’d wanted to backhand him at times for screwing around and getting a little too friendly with her while I was watching.

She’d probably come to that conclusion on her own, then moved out because she thought I’d lied to her. That made sense. What didn’t was Dre. How did that loser and the tat shop fit into all this?

I dropped my head in my hands. Could all of this really have been just one gigantic fucked-up misunderstanding?

“She didn’t mention anyone last night by the name of Dre?”

“Dre? No. You’re the only guy she talked about.” She came overand put her arm around my shoulder. I guess she’d softened towards me. “I don’t know what’s going on, but I really feel there’s no one else. Woman’s intuition and all.” She smiled. “You need to talk to her. Ask her how she feels about you. That’s the only way you’ll find out.”

“Yeah.” I couldn’t fucking believe that I had to be at the airport in three hours. The timing of shit for the past couple weeks had been some god’s idea of a cruel, twisted joke.

“Mike’s down in the rec room. I’m going to grab him and go bring back her car. She had a rough night and shouldn’t be alone. Do you have time to wait here with her?”

“I’m not going anywhere until I have to.” I had never been so tempted to quit my job. I could be gone for fucking weeks during a time when I’d never needed to stay home more.

She kissed my cheek, then headed out of the room. “Good luck, little brother.”

After she left, I immediately went to the back room. “Perry,” I whispered. No response. I sat at the edge of the bed and touched her face. She was warm and curled up with one too many blankets so I removed them, just leaving the sheet around her.

I sat for a while and simply stared at her. Even with her rough night, she was still the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. Could she still be mine? Was she ever? I’d assumed that we’d have plenty of time for discussing it afterwards, but when I was called away and could do nothing but focus on the outage, everything had gone full-speed to hell.

I brushed back her hair and she mumbled, “Stephen?” My heart did a leap. It fuckingleapt. There she was, half out of it with eyes still closed, and she said my name.Not Dre’s.

“Yes, it’s me.” I continued touching her hair as she hovered somewhere between a dead sleep and partial awareness. “Can you hear me okay?”

“Mmm.”

I had no clue what she understood now or would remember later, but there was so much I wanted to say. We’d already wasted too much time.

“I never slept with Stefanie. I wouldn’t do that to you. You’re the only woman I want. You’re the only one I think about day in and day out.” Fuck, I really wished I knew if she was taking this in or not. “I saw you with Dre, and in my sleep-deprived mind, I assumed the worst. I should’ve talked to you about it right away. After everything he put you through, and everything we shared, I should have never held the thought—even for a second—that you’d go back to him.”

I paused, listening to her soft breaths. I had a strong urge to pull the sheet down and check the skin over her hip, but I held back. I still didn’t know the whole story, but from what Jillian told me, I began to have hope again.

I stroked her forehead, her cheek, her lips. “Everything I said to you that night was true. You’re different.We’redifferent. I feel like I’ve waited for you for so long, and I don’t just want you for a night. I want you for as long as we can go. I want us, Perry, and I hope so badly that you want the same.”

I rubbed my jaw, not sure how much more to say. I didn’t want the first time I said “I love you” to be like this. I wanted her looking into my eyes and fully conscious. It would have to wait until I returned. Fucking business trip.

I sat with her as long as I could, until I barely had a second to spare. I kissed her forehead and told her I’d talk to her again as soon as possible.

As I was walking out the door, she muttered something against the pillow.

I could have sworn it was “I love you.”

The second best day of my life.

Stephen was coming home.

I skipped around my apartment, feeling as if I was either going to float out the window or spin myself into a tizzy. I was beaming hard, and I had the sore cheeks to prove it.

After twenty-three days, nine hours, and seventeen minutes—give or take a few minutes—they were finally sending him home. It turned out that the major system crash that had taken him away from me on the Best Night Ever had originated from issues in the San Diego data center. Stephen was part of the team that had to fly over and work on shit and do whatever else programmers do. I had no clue, just that he was needed. If I planned to have a life with him, I had to be prepared for him to be their bitch every so often.

Man, I’d missed him so much, despite talking every single night. The first day alone we stayed on the phone for hours going over thestuff that had nearly destroyed us. In fact, Jills hadn’t let me leave her house that next morning until things had cleared up between her brother and me.

I may have thrown back one too many, but that didn’t prevent me from remembering everything that night. I knew what she did for me. The kindness she’d showed and the way she’d cared. I was convinced that if it weren’t for her, Stephen and I would’ve still been in that fucked-up place, still misunderstanding each other, still barely communicating. I don’t think it would’ve lasted forever, but any time lost was too long. I owed her more than I could pay.

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