Page 33 of Love, Luck & Clusterf*ck

“Okay. After you left, I tried coming on to him but he turned me down. The reason he wasn’t with me that night wasn’t from lack of trying.”

Oh. Was that it? Whew. My muscles loosened. Perry: One.Potential awkward situation: Zero.

“Are you mad?” she asked.

“Why would I be mad?”

“Because I know you’re interested even if you deny it. But I swear I didn’t know how interested until the morning after when you thought it could’ve been him in my bed.”

“I’m not interested, Christa.”

“I don’t expect you to admit it until you admit that you and Dre aren’t meant to be.”

“I said I’m not interested.” I really didn’t want to start this with her, especially now of all times. “It would’ve been fine if he were the man in your bed.”

“If you say so.”

“I say so.” I scooted my butt back and forth since it was starting to go numb. “But wow, I can’t believe he turned you down.”

“I know, right? Who does that?” She giggled, then sighed. “Although, at this moment, I wish someone else had.”

I chomped my lips closed to keep from asking her if she was ready. When she was ready, she’d let me know. As long as it was before I had to go to work. I would not let her wait another day.

She shifted down and laid her head in my lap. “Thank you for being here. You’re always there for me, Perry.” I played with her hair in response. “I feel like we’re back years ago in that shitty little bathroom where I took too many shrooms and I was throwing up for hours. You stayed with me and held my hair while I puked my guts in the toilet.”

“I remember.” I was freaking out as well, thinking chunks of her organs were coming out.

She laughed softly. “I’ll also never forget in tenth grade when I went on that weird diet and ended up gaining twenty pounds instead. That stupid Dion kid called me ‘lard ass’ and you slammed his head into the locker. You were always the first to stand up for me.”

“Impulsiveness has its perks, I guess.” I wouldn’t have done half the things in my life if I’d thought about it first. But for as much shit as it got me in, I wouldn’t change any of it. Mostly.

“I could reminiscence all night if you feel like listening to me.”

“Sure.”

Technically, we’d soon be going into morning, but I liked hearing her talk. Rather that than hearing her cry and sounding hopeless. The longer she spent in a more peaceful place, the better.

Every time my eyelids started to droop, her voice would pop them back open again. And whenever I thought she’d dozed off, she’d begin a new story. I was sure I’d gotten a few minutes of sleep here and there, but that wasn’t how my body felt.

When the sun started to peek in through the window, I knew she couldn’t put it off any longer. All three boxes were lying there in plain sight, and she couldn’t pretend they didn’t exist anymore.

“Christa,” I whispered. She didn’t answer me. “Christa,” I said again louder. I knew damn well she wasn’t asleep. She let out a whimper, then lifted her head off my lap and rested it against the wall.

“I know,” she said. “It’s time.”

“Ihave to pee.”

Christa tried to stand, but I grabbed her wrist. “Don’t you dare. Don’t even think about peeing unless it’s on a stick.”

“But I’m going to burst. Let me just deflate my bladder a little and then I’ll take the test.”

“Dammit, Christa.” After she’d admitted it was time, it still took her another half hour to make a further move. At least it gave me time to read the directions. First-morning pee was best, so I guess that worked out.

“Okay, okay. I’m not ready, but I’m ready.” Her lower lip quivered a bit and all those emotions slammed back into me. I was fucking terrified for her. It wasn’t as if she didn’t have a good job or couldn’t take care of it. But not knowing who the father was threw a whole new level of chaos into the mix. “Hold my hand?” she asked.

I nodded. At least she didn’t ask me to hold the stick. “Are yousure you don’t want any privacy?”

She rolled her eyes. “As if you haven’t seen me pee before.”

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