Page 44 of Wish You Would

She takes the seat next to me, looking over my shoulder when I laugh at something on my phone. “What’s so funny?”

“It’s just my mom,” I explain. “She’s obsessed with Reddit. She’s constantly sending me the weirdest shit.”

“What? Show me.”

She leans towards me, and I am suddenly hyper-aware of the place where her arm presses against mine. I clear my throat.

I tilt my screen to show her the post my mom sent me. It’s a picture of a middle-aged woman doing a deep lunge in a sequin bodysuit, along with the caption, “Dance like the rest of the world can fuck right off.”

Briar coughs out a laugh. “I don’t know your mom, but I like her already.”

“She sends me this stuff every single day,” I tell her, shaking my head. “But yeah, she’s pretty great.”

Briar smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. She dips the teabag in and out of her mug, not looking at me. She seems nervous, and I can’t help but wonder if she’s regretting what happened between us last night.

Shit.

“So, we should probably talk.” I swallow. “I haven’t had a woman in my bed in a year.”

“Since Aubrey.”

I nod and inhale deeply. “Yes.”

“What happened between you two?”

“It’s a long story.”

“We have all morning.”

Briar watches me, waiting for my response.

I sigh. “She wanted to get married and have kids.”

She arches her eyebrows. “And you didn’t?”

“No.”

“So, what happened?”

“Eventually, I ended things. She felt like I strung her along, wasted her time. I didn’t mean to, but I hurt her.”

“And you haven’t dated since then?”

“No.”

“Why not? People break up all the time, but they don’t usually swear off dating because of it.”

I consider this. I’ve never really talked to anyone about this, not even the guys. But for some reason, I want to be totally honest with Briar.

“I can’t give a woman what she wants. Most want a ring, and a house with a white picket fence and kids. And I don’t. That kind of makes me undatable.”

As soon as the words leave my mouth, I want to take them all back. I want to tell her I could try for her. I want to tell her that I’ve never felt sparks the way I do when I kiss her. That my house has never felt more like a home than it has this past week. Even with all her mess, the brightly colored pillows, the blanket I don’t need, the plants that I know will be dead as soon as she moves out. I want to tell her that I like having her here with me. That I likeher.

But despite these feelings, deep down I’m still the same guy I always have been. In the end, I would still let her down. So, I stay silent, waiting for Briar to say something.

“Maybe if you found the right person, you’d change your mind,” she says gently. “Love has a way of making you do crazy things.”

I let her words sink in. There’s something about the way Briar makes me feel that has me hoping that I won’t be alone forever. Maybe I could make someone happy one day. That’s a thought I haven’t let myself believe in a long time.

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