Page 45 of Wish You Would

“Maybe.” I let out a deep breath, feeling like I’m having a hard time trying to explain myself. “It’s just… look at my parents. They got married and had two kids only to decide they didn’t want to be married to each other. What was the point? Over 50 percent of relationships end in divorce.”

“And some don’t. There’s always a chance you’ll find the one and live happily ever after.”

“You never know. Maybe I’ll change my mind.”

“I hope you do,” she says.

“But I’m pretty positive that I don’t want kids.”

Before I can say anything more, Briar takes a deep breath, like she’s gathering her courage. “Holden, listen,” she says, twisting her hands in her lap. “I had a great night with you last night, but it can’t happen again. We’re roommates. We have the same friends now. I’m not looking to date someone. When I’m ready, I want to… find my person, you know? Get married and start a family. I want everything you don’t.”

The muscle in my jaw flexes as my chest aches a little in my chest. This is the way it has to be. The only way. Hell, I knew this before I kissed her in the kitchen last night. She’s right. It’s better to end it here before we ruin a friendship, before we ruin the dynamics of our entire friend group.

“We’re still friends, right? And I’ll still be your fake girlfriend, but I don’t think it’s smart for us to fool around. We’ll have to be somewhat affectionate in public, but when we’re at home, we need to keep some distance.”

I nod, even though my stomach is in knots and I’m not totally sure what she said. I spaced out after she told me last night could never happen again.

“Good.” She wraps an arm around my back and drops her head on my shoulder, signalling that the awkward conversation is now done.

“I’m going to go take a shower,” she says, stifling a yawn as she slides off her chair. “I need to wake up.”

I nod and watch her walk out of the room. We were up for hours last night. I think we’re both feeling pretty tired. I scrub both hands over my face. This is such a mess. I never should have had sex with Briar. How did I think I could beintimate with her and then just go back to living together as roommates and nothing more?

The ache in my chest doubles in intensity as I walk to the front door and lace up my sneakers to go for a run. I desperately need to put some distance between me and Briar.

ELEVEN

I GUESS WE WERE THAT OBVIOUS

Briar

I screwed up.

Why did I sleep with Holden?

That is the question that has been running through my head on repeat since I woke up in Holden’s bed this morning.

He was still asleep when I slipped out from under the covers and crept to the kitchen. I made a cup of tea, but it didn’t help keep my mind from replaying the mind-blowing sex I had with Holden last night. Needing a distraction, I decided to make breakfast and was just finishing up with the French toast and bacon when Holden finally appeared in the doorway, shirtless and with the sexiest case of bedhead I’ve ever seen.

I wanted to let breakfast get cold, to walk him right back into the bedroom and go for a round four.Oh my god.Did we really have sex three times? And the craziest part was that he was somehow able to bring me to orgasm three times too.

The barista at Dream Bean, my usual weekend spot,calls out my order, bringing me back to the present. Grabbing my green tea lemonade, I head outside in the direction of the beach. I need to clear my head, and I’m hoping a walk and the ocean air will do the trick.

I’ve gotten all of 10 steps when I hear my name. I wince when I see Daisy and Everly headed towards me. Any other day I would be thrilled to see them, but I’m certainly not in the right frame of mind to talk to anyone after the morning I’ve had. But there’s no point trying to avoid them now, so I do my best to put a smile on my face and fake it.

“Hey, Briar. Long time no see,” Everly jokes as Daisy wraps her arms around me in a tight hug.

I laugh when she plants a kiss on my cheek. “What are you two up to?”

“You would know if you looked at your phone. I texted you twice.” Daisy keeps her pointed gaze on me. “So, how did last night go?”

“What do you mean?” I ask, hoping I sound more innocent than I feel. Did she notice Holden and I flirting last night? Would Holden have told Tucker what happened when we got home?Oh god.Does she know that I had sex with her husband’s best friend? Would she care?

“You were looking pretty close with Holden last night.”

I guess we werethatobvious. I shouldn’t be surprised that our friends are talking about it. Trying my best to look unaffected by her comment, I lift a shoulder. “We both probably drank a little too much. I think we all did.”

“Are you as hungover as I am?” Everly asks, and I mentally thank her for redirecting the conversation.

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