Page 49 of Wish You Would

“I hope you saved room for cherry pie,” Barb says. “Donna’s secret recipe, you don’t want to miss it.”

“Wait until you taste it,” Holden’s dad adds. “Donna knows how to bake her way around a kitchen. You should have seen the elaborate cakes she would make for the kids’ birthdays.”

It’s clear how much all three of them love Holden. I can’t help but compare his relationship with his parents to mine. My mom and my stepdad have always accepted me and supported me, but I think when you have a parent who didn’t love you enough to stick around, there’s a part of you that always feels like you aren’t enough. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve ever let my dad disappearing from my life keep me up at night, but it’s times like these that I can’t help but feel a little out of place.

By the end of the evening, I’m feeling very full and very happy that I decided to accept the invite for dinner. It’s been great meeting Holden’s family, and after tonight I feel like I know him a little bit better.

As Holden says goodbye to his dad, Barb and Donna manage to corner me in the hallway. “We’re so happy we got to meet you, Briar,” Donna gushes sweetly. “It’s obvious how much Holden cares about you.”

“I care about him too,” I say truthfully. “He is one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met.”

“That’s our Holden. When he was a little boy, he used to bake cookies with me, help me with the gardening. He was always wanting to help out. At school, anytime a kid was picking on one of the quieter ones, Holden would give them hell.” Donna beams. “He’s always had the biggest heart. To this day, he tells me he loves me before he hangs up the phone.”

I listen intently, heart fluttering in my chest. Hearing thisjust confirms what I already know: Holden is the best kind of person.

As if on cue, he appears in the hallway, smiling when he finds me there with his mom and stepmom. He kisses the side of my face in a perfect display of affection.

“Ready to go?” he asks. He stretches his arms over his head, causing his shirt to rise just enough to show off a sliver of his toned stomach. Holden is breathtakingly gorgeous. I force myself to avert my eyes. As much as I’d like to soak him in, it will only make me want him more and that is dangerous for my heart.

I thank Donna and Barb for having me, say my goodbyes to them all and then head out to the truck with Holden holding my hand.

We drive back to the house in silence. I was looking forward to chatting about the evening with him, to telling him how much I loved meeting his family, but Holden is withdrawn again. The familiar frown is back. His eyes are straight ahead, his hands gripping the wheel tightly.

I look out the window, remembering just a couple of nights ago, when he asked me if it was okay that we fall asleep in one another’s arms. Remembering how sweet he can be. Remembering what it felt like to curl up against him.

Letting myself fall for Holden isn’t an option. I know how that would end: we would date for a little while until I decide I need something more serious, and then he would bail. I can’t risk that after how badly Justin hurt me.

When Holden and I get home, he makes a right to go to his bedroom and I make a left to go to mine, where I get ready for bed and look forward to sleep.

It seems like it’s the only time I stop thinking about him.

TWELVE

JUMPING THE GUN

Holden

I don’t usually jerk off in the shower to thoughts of a woman when she’s right across the hall, but I’ve been hiding out in my bedroom, and I need to release some sexual tension. It’s not the first time I’ve come with my own hand thinking about Briar and I’m sure it won’t be the last. For some reason I can’t stop obsessing over her. There’s something about her that makes me want more. I want to be around her all the time, I want her attention on me. When she looks at me with her emerald-green eyes, even from across the room, I can feel it like a heat across my skin.

I want her. That’s exactly why I’ve stayed away from her. It hasn’t been easy though. It’s taken every ounce of my strength to not be near her. Not to kiss her senseless or pick her up and carry her to my bed and strip her bare and make her feel good. Briar deserves to feel good. She deserves to be worshipped, and I wish I was the guy who got to do that.

Fuck. I grip my aching cock in frustration. I need to get off. I need to take the edge off. I need more than a hallwayseparating Briar and me. I need a whole damn city between us.

I want to tell her that I’ve never thought about a woman more than I have thought about her. That I’ve never slept more peacefully than I did that week she slept in my bed. I want to tell her that I like making her tea and I look forward to getting up in the mornings knowing that I get to have breakfast with her.

Only I can’t tell her any of those things because she doesn’t see me the same way that I see her. So instead, I’ve kept a distance. It’s better this way. It won’t hurt as much when she moves out and I watch her walk away.

For the next couple of months, I’ll try my best to avoid her even though that will be next to impossible considering we live together. But that’s my own fault for sleeping with Briar. Sex with my roommate was a bad idea; it’s a line I should have been smart enough not to cross.

My brain shuts off when my balls begin to ache. I feel like I’ve never needed a release so much in my life.

“Jesus.” My cock throbs, blood rushing to my groin. I keep stroking as it hardens and lengthens while the hot spray of water from the shower flows down my back. I keep jerking my dick in my hand, feeling it plumping while I imagine Briar in those short shorts that she wears around the house. My dick throbs and the base of my spine tingles when visions of her tits fill my mind… the elegant column of her throat when I sucked on her neck and the curve of her hips that are almost as perfect as her ass.

My god, yes. Fuck, it feels good. I needed this.

Pleasure coils its way up my spine as I tighten my grip, increasing my pace. Pictures of Briar in my bed; her smile, the way her teeth nibble on her bottom lip when she’sunsure or nervous, the way her stomach muscles flexed and relaxed when I was deep inside her.

My hand moves faster, my whole body beginning to tremble when my orgasm teases me, threatening to take me over the edge.

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