Page 51 of Wish You Would

“Fuck if I know. I guess she’s not into me.”

“But you’re into her?”

I scrub a hand over the scruff on my jaw. “I am. Fuck, I wish I wasn’t, but I’m definitely attracted to her. But it’s complicated. I mean, we live together, she’s Daisy’s best friend, she’s getting over her dickhead ex-boyfriend who messed her up pretty bad. Plus, I swore to myself I wouldn’t hookup after things went south with Aubrey. I’m trying to work on shit, get my head straight. The last thing I need is a relationship. I think I’ve proven that I’m shit at those.” I think about the fights, the making up, how I pushed Aubrey away and how awful it was when we broke up. I don’t have it in me to go through that again. “I think Briar and I are both messed up from past relationships.”

“And you’re not willing to just try with her?”

“I thought about it.”

“And?” Grayson asks.

“Honestly, I worry I’d just fuck it up. Besides, she wants to get married. She wants kids. I’m not interested in any ofthat and she knows it.” My jaw flexes. “I’ve never seen myself with a family.”

“That’s what he said.” Tucker flicks a thumb at Jake.

“I know.” I exhale, leaning back in my chair. “I’m not saying I won’t change my mind one day, but I can’t guarantee it, so what’s the point in giving Bee the run around?”

“Beeeeee,” Tucker drags it out. “How sweet… you already have cute nicknames for one another.”

“Fuck off.”

“Look, I know you say you can’t imagine having kids, but I think you’re jumping the gun, here, Holdey,” Grayson says. “Maybe you just haven’t met the right girl, one youcanimagine having a family with. I know you’re great with Sadie.”

“I’m co-signing this. You are great with my kids,” Jake adds.

“Maybe you’re right. I don’t know…” I take a long pull of my beer. The truth is I’m not sure what I want anymore. Do I want kids? I can’t picture it, but I know I wantsomethingwith Briar.

“Have you at least told her that you like her?” Jake asks.

I swallow. “No.”

“Why not?”

“I didn’t get a chance. She told me the next morning that nothing more could happen between us. There wasn’t much for me to say after that.”

“Maybe, but I still think it wouldn’t hurt if you told her how you feel. Let her decide if you’re worth getting to know better. I’ve seen the way that girl looks at you. Hell, I’ve seen the way you look at her too. There is definitely something there. Last weekend at Catch 21, you two weren’t exactly subtle. You may as well have pushed aside the nachos andfucked right there on the table,” Grayson says as Tucker chuckles.

“Not sure what’s so funny.”

“Gray is funny as hell,” Tucker laughs.

I roll my eyes.

“Listen,” Jake says. “I’m not trying to push you. We can stop talking about this. I just want to make sure that you know how natural you are with kids. My two love it when you come over. Birdie tells me you make her laugh the most.”

Grayson’s hands go up in the air. “What the f—”

“Shut up, Gray,” Jake cuts him off.

“I’m definitely funnier than Holden,” Grayson argues.

“Not to Birdie, you aren’t.”

Grayson clutches his chest as if his heart is broken.

“I’m not saying you need to have kids of your own, but I hope you’ve really put some thought to it.” Jake’s hand claps my shoulder.

It’s so damn good to have friends that I can talk to. It’s a bonus that they live right next door. Jake was the last guy I thought would ever settle down and have a family. But it was so easy for him to connect with Everly’s daughter, Birdie, then fall seamlessly into the role of being a husband and a dad.

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