“What’s wrong?” she asks.
“Mom.” I shake my head. “I’m fine.”
Not even a second into the phone call and she can already tell I’m not myself. That’s my mom. She has always had a strong intuition with her kids, apparently even through a screen from 10,000 miles away.
“I haven’t talked to you in two weeks. I wanted to see your face. You look beautiful as always, but a little pale. Are you feeling okay?”
Holden pulls into his driveway and turns off the engine. We both get out of the car, but I motion to him that I’m going to walk across the street to the beach. I draw in a deep breath, inhaling the ocean air saturated with salt and seaweed. My favorite smell.
I sigh, sitting down in the sand. “I’ve been a little under the weather, Mom, but not for reasons that you probably think… I’m pregnant.”
There. I said it. I wait, my heart in my throat.
Mom’s jaw drops. “Oh my god.”
“Yeah, I know. That’s how I felt when I found out too.”
“How far along?”
“Ten weeks. The baby is Holden’s and before you ask… no, we’re not together but he wants to be in both of our lives.”
“Well, that’s a good thing,” she nods. “Have you been to the doctor?”
I tell her about the appointment as well as my upcoming ultrasound where we’re going to find out if the baby is a boy or a girl. I watch my mom’s eyes fill with tears.
‘Mom, you’re crying.” My chest aches.
“Of course I am.” She pats the tears from her cheeks. “My baby is having a baby. I’m going to be a grandma. It’s a wonderful thing.”
I feel an overwhelming sense of relief. My mom and I have always been close. I’ve never wanted to disappoint her. I was nervous to tell her, but I feel so grateful that she’s embracing the news. I should have known she would. She’s always been supportive and accepting of me.
“You’re the first person we’ve told. We’re going to tell Holden’s moms and dad this week.”
“Holden’s moms?”
I nod. “His mom and dad are divorced, and his mom remarried a woman. They are all so nice. You would really like them.”
Her eyes well again. “I hope they take good care of you, sweetheart. I wish I was there to help. It takes a village to raise a child. It breaks my heart that I’m so far away.”
“I wish you were here too, Mom. You know you’re my best friend.”
She swallows hard, wiping her eyes again with her fingertips. “I love you, baby.”
“I love you too.”
“Can I tell Grandma and Grandpa and your brother?”
“Yeah, you can. Do you think Grandpa will be disappointed?” I ask nervously, looking out at the ocean.
“Never, honey. A baby is a blessing. He’s going to be happy for you! We are all going to want to meet Holden, though. Maybe we could arrange a time to FaceTime?”
“Yeah, he wants to meet you too.”
After ending the call with my mom, I walk back home feeling like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Holden is waiting for me on the porch with Bear in his hands. He looks so good in a navy T-shirt, his ball cap turned around so that I can see the nervous look in his piercing green eyes.
“Holden, you are going to itch all night if you don’t put her back in her condo,” I say, sitting down next to him.
“I can handle it. What I couldn’t handle was listening to her cry in there. Poor thing had a rough day.” He massages the white patch of fur between her ears before looking at me again. “You okay?”