Page 92 of Wish You Would

With my cock still buried inside her, I hold her close, kissing the salty skin of her neck. We couldn’t be any closer, but it still isn’t close enough. When she tries to move, I tighten my hold on her, wanting to stay this way forever.

“We’re not leaving this room tonight,” I warn.

“I know.”

“I love you, Briar.”

“Love you too, baby.”

I hold her close. Soon our breaths even out as I nestle her to my chest.

I feel zero control over her leaving, but right now, she’s here. For the next half hour, I listen to the soft sounds of her breathing against my chest as she falls asleep in my arms then without waking her, I climb out of bed. I can’t sleep. My heart is racing against my ribs. This isn’t happiness, though.This is a wave of panic slamming into me at what I’m about to face.

I have a lot to think about, and I can’t do that in my current state of mind. My chest hurts. My stomach is in knots. I look out the living room window to the beach in the distance and I know in my core that I want to stay in this house. I know what I need to do. In the morning I have an appointment with the bank. I’ll figure out Briar after that.

TWENTY-SIX

TELL ME TO STAY

Briar

I trace the rim of my water glass, staring at the untouched sandwich on the table. My new apartment is beautiful—anyone would think so. A top-floor unit with huge windows, gleaming floors, and a kitchen that will get a lot of use. But with all that said, it’s just another place that isn’this.

I think back to when we walked through my apartment together. I wanted him to care. Wanted him to smile at the bright-white kitchen, joke about how I’d fill the empty bookshelves with romance books with naked dudes on the cover, but most of all pull me close and say,The place is nice, but you’re not moving in here. You belong at home with me.

But he hadn’t.

I take a sip of water, ignoring the sting in my throat. This feeling is familiar. It was there when my dad left without looking back. It was there when I found Justin with someone else, as if I had been nothing more than a placeholder. And now, here it is again—this aching certainty that I’m not someone people choose to keep.

I set my glass down with a thud, the weight of it settling deep in my chest.

I hoped Holden would be the one to prove me wrong.

And once again, I’m still hoping.

Earlier that day he barely spoke to me before he left for work in the morning. I thought maybe I was just being hypersensitive, but that night he was quiet; he seemed to barely register the fact that I was there.

I thought things were better last night when he could barely get me through the door without mauling me, but today the silence returned. When I asked him if there was a day he preferred to help me move out, he said,as soon as you want.I haven’t seen or spoken to him since.

All the signs are there. Holden has been distant. I would be a fool to ignore that. It wasn’t that long ago that he told me he didn’t see a family in his future. Maybe now that the baby news has really sunk in, his initial excitement is fading. I know Holden will be a good dad to our child, but I also know there are no guarantees that means he and I will be together.

Maybe it’s for the best. When I arrived back in Reed Point, I was fresh off my break-up with Justin, and then my relationship with Holden moved so quickly. It might be good for me to be on my own, to stand on my own two feet. If we put a little distance between us, we can date like a couple would normally do. It doesn’t have to be a breakup, even though it feels a lot like one.

It might even make our relationship stronger. A newborn can put a lot of stress on a relationship, so it’s probably best for us to have some space.

It will be a good thing. It has to be.

And if Holden has decided he wants to put distancebetween us, I will still have little Slugger and my cute new apartment.

And a broken heart.

I have 10 minutes left on my lunch break, so I send Holden a text. I need something from him. Anything that tells me we’re going to be okay.

Briar: How does spaghetti carbonara sound for dinner tonight? Thought I’d stop at the store and pick up what I need on my way home.

I wait for a response from him, but when none comes, I toss my garbage into the bin with a heavy sigh and walk back to my desk.

When my phone buzzes 20 minutes later, I knock over my glass of water in my rush to pick it up. I swipe the screen to life as I sop up the spill with a napkin.

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