Page 94 of Wish You Would

“Are you okay?” Jake frowns “You seem quiet.”

“I’m good, just a lot going on. My apartment is ready. I’m moving in next week.”

“Sorry, what?” Jake asks, a curious look in his eyes. “Is Holden moving with you?”

“No, just me.”

I feel awkward talking about this with Holden’s best friend. And considering the fact that I’m terrible at concealing my emotions right now and likely to burst into tears at any moment, I should probably stop talking and head home.

“Oh… okay.” He scratches his head. “I just… well, it really doesn’t matter. If you need help with the move, just let me know.”

“Thanks, Jake. I appreciate it.”

We walk together to the backyard to find Birdie already has a marshmallow hovering over the fire under Everly’s watchful supervision. The first couple burn and drop into the fire, but the third one turns out just right.

We spend the next 10 minutes or so chatting, the fire casting a magical glow around the small yard. Birdie talks Jake into letting her have one extra marshmallow—he doesn’t stand a chance against her, she’s way too cute—before Everly takes her into the house to wash her stickyfingers and get ready for bed. I say goodbye and make my exit, heading back to the house next door.

Holden’s not home when I step inside, and the house feels lonely and eerily quiet. Everything feels off. Bear must sense it too when she struts to the end of the bed, leisurely swishing her tail side-to side, with her beryl-green eyes focused on me. She purrs affectionately, rubbing her head against my thigh as I absentmindedly stroke the soft fur between her ears.

I change out of my clothes and into the oversized T-shirt of Holden’s that doubles as my pajamas these days, then climb into bed without him for the first time in months. The sun has slipped below the horizon and there’s a chill in the air outside, but I leave the window open just enough to hear the rushing echo of the waves against the beach.

I miss him. The bed feels far too big and empty without Holden next to me. I prop a few pillows behind my back and reach for my laptop. I have an email to look over and a rental agreement to sign. In six more days, I’ll be living in my new apartment, pregnant and all alone.

I sigh, running my hand over my belly as I make a mental to-do list. This little boy is going to need a nursery: a crib, change table, maybe a cute little mobile and some artwork for the walls. I’d love a rocking chair if I can find one. I’m also going to need to choose a paint color for the walls. Maybe a pale blue?

I have so much to do, but I’m too tired to think about it. Instead, I lie here with Bear keeping me company and try to focus on the contract on my screen.

TWENTY-SEVEN

ADMIT THAT YOU’RE BEING A TOTAL JACKASS

Holden

As I walk through the doors of the bank, I feel a headache coming on. I just met with a bank representative who told me I’d need a minimum of five percent down, which is a lot, and a number that I’m still not sure I can come up with. On the bright side, she said that based on my credit score, if I could come up with the down payment things looked pretty good. Now I just need to figure out how to come up with the money and then wait for the pre-approval, which will likely take 2 to 3 days.

I’m in my truck about to turn the ignition when I get a text from Jake wanting to meet up for a drink. It’s been a long day, and I’d rather just head home and see Briar, but I know Jake is impatient to talk. This is the second message he’s sent me today, and for him I think that might be a record. He’s probably annoyed that I’ve been out of touch lately, but I’ve been busy trying to figure out how I’m going to buy the house, on top of dealing with the fact that Briar is moving out in a matter of days.

I heave a sigh, worry snaking its way through my body.I’ve known this day was coming, but I think I just haven’t wanted to accept it. I rub my forehead, trying to alleviate the pain throbbing behind my eyes. I message Jake back to say I can meet him for a quick beer and then drive the 10 minutes to the pub. An hour, tops, and then I’ll go home to Briar.

When I walk into the bar, I quickly find Jake sitting at a table near the back of the room. I sink into the booth next to him, nodding a hello.

“I thought you were dead,” he mutters after a pull of his beer.

“I feel like it.” I dig out the two pain killers I stuffed in my pocket before getting out of my car.

“Headache?”

“A killer one.”

“Well, I guess I shouldn’t give you too much shit for ignoring my messages then.” Jake slides a glass of water across the table to me.

“Thanks,” I reply, popping the pills in my mouth.

“So, what the hell is going on with you?”

I sigh. “My landlord is selling the house. I’ve got four months before I need to move out.”

Jake looks shocked. “Shit. You can’t move. You love that house. It’s always been you, me, and Gray on Haven Harbor. What are you going to do?”

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