Page 96 of Wish You Would

A little while later, we’ve paid our bill, and Jake takes hislast swig of beer. He stares at me for a long time before he asks me, “Do you want her to stay?

I nod. “Of course I do.”

“Then you need to choose her. You need to go home and tell her.” He pushes back from his chair and stands. “I need to get home to Ev, but I’m glad we talked.”

I check the time on my phone, and shit, it’s later than I realized. Jake gave me a lot to think about. I feel like I’m seeing things more clearly now. I know I made a gigantic mistake, but if Briar is willing to stay with me then we can figure out the rest together because without her, I have nothing.

I make it home 15 minutes later, eager to see her and get everything out on the table. I walk through the front door, listening for any sound of her. I go to the living room, hoping to find her curled up on the couch with one of her romance books. The room is empty, but my heart twists when I see the mess of colorful throw pillows, the throw blanket and collection of fruit-scented candles scattered around the room. I hated all of it when Briar first brought this stuff home, but now I couldn’t imagine this place without it. Without Briar, this house isn’t a home. It’s just four walls. I was fooling myself to think I could ever just let her walk out of here.

The kitchen is dark, so I check my bedroom first and then quietly push open the door to her room, only to find both are empty.

Where would she be on a Monday night?

Feeling panic rising, I sit down at the kitchen counter and send her a text.

Holden: Home and wondering where you are. Checking to make sure you’re okay. Message me.

I pace the floor, worried about her and the baby. My mind is spiraling, and the knot in my chest only increases in size as the minutes tick by. By the time I’m ready to start calling every one of her friends, I get a notification on my phone. Thank god, it’s from Briar.

Briar: I’m fine. I’m at Daisy’s, but I’m tired and I’m going to crash here tonight. Tucker has an away game.

Right. I remember Tucker saying something about a road trip with the Outlaws this week, and Briar often stops by to keep Daisy company when she’s on her own. If my head wasn’t so wrapped up in my own problems, I would have thought of that.

I slam my fist onto the kitchen counter, then drag my hands through my hair. I feel desperate. I need to see her. It wasn’t that long ago that I liked my alone time. My space. That was before Briar. Now I understand it’s because I was never with the right person. I’ve never loved someone as much as I love her.

Holden: Do you need me to bring you anything? Pajamas? A toothbrush?

Briar: No, I brought some things in case I decided to stay.

Hearing that she was planning on spending the night is like a punch to the gut. She’s probably over therequestioning whether I want her or not, and fuck, that makes me feel like an asshole.

I pushed her away. I made her feel like she’s not the most important thing in my life. I have to take responsibility for that because I know I hurt her.

I slide my phone across the counter, holding myself back from texting her again. She deserves an apology from me in person so she can see the truth in my eyes. It’s too late now to stalk over to Daisy’s and win her back, so instead I start brainstorming ways to show her I want her to stay.

Ten minutes later, I’m firing up my laptop, knowing exactly how I can make it up to her

TWENTY-EIGHT

I’M GOING TO BE BRAVE

Briar

What am I doing here?

I woke up next to Daisy this morning, and as much as I love her, she isn’t Holden.

When he didn’t come home for dinner last night, I messaged Daisy to see if I could come over because I knew I wouldn’t survive another evening alone in his house. Sierra and Everly also stopped by with ice cream for me and a bottle of wine for them, and we watchedThe Bachelor.It was nice to be with the girls, but it was also a reminder that I am the only one not in a solid relationship. I held it together until Everly and Sierra left, but when it was just Daisy and I in our pajamas in her bed, I broke down. I told her everything—about the apartment, about wanting to stay with Holden, about him not asking me to stay.

Daisy held my hand as I fell apart. My sweet, supportive friend listened to me vent until I was too tired to talk anymore. Then this morning she got up early and made me breakfast.

I’ve been on the verge of tears all morning, too emotionally exhausted to talk about the situation with Holden. I need to go home, get changed and get to the office. My plan is to bury myself in work today until I forget about all of this, at least for a few hours. Hiking my duffle bag on to my shoulder, I give Daisy a hug goodbye. “Thanks for everything, Dais.”

“It’s going to be okay, Briar. But you need to talk to him.”

I press my lips together, unsure of what to say to Holden now, and nervous about how he’ll respond.

She nods her head, folding her arms over her chest. “He would have said yes.”

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