Page 26 of My Heart To Heal

‘Hey, Lynnie.’

‘Hey, sweetheart, how you doing today?’

I stand and take Jonah’s hand as we walk into the reception area, and she glances up to meet my gaze for a moment. Jesus, fuck, she looks pretty today in her red coat, her brown waves falling over her shoulders. My fingers twitch with the need to feel how soft her hair is. Why does that piss me off?

‘I’m good. We, um, baked y’all some Christmas cookies.’

She smiles softly between me and Lynnie.

‘Oh, Missy, that’s sweet.’

‘The decoration is all Jonah’s handy work, right, baby?’ The kid nods and beams up at me. ‘We tasted them, they’re good, and I swear he washed his hands first.’ She chuckles, and I swallow. I really like that sound.

‘Oh, little darlin’, thank you, Jonah,’ Lynnie says enthusiastically. She has pretty much adopted Missy and Jonah as part of her family. ‘Nick,’ Lynnie turns to me, smiling, ‘Missy and Jonah baked us some cookies. Isn’t that nice?’

‘Hmm.’ I nod, not wanting something stupid to come out of my mouth.

‘I hope you like them.’ Missy shrugs.

‘I don’t eat cookies.’

Fuck.

‘Oh.’

‘Nobody needs that much sugar.’ Her face drops, and I feel Jonah staring up at me, but I can’t look at him.

‘Nicholas,’ Lynnie scolds, and I feel Jonah’s hand slip from mine, so I turn and walk back into my office.

‘Well, more for you and Mervthen, Lynnie,’ Missy says, trying to sound unaffected, but I hear the disappointment.

‘Thank you, guys.’

‘No problem. Merry Christmas.’

Sitting at my desk, I hear the front door to the clinic open and close, and I know they left. Why did I say that? I can’t seem to stop myself from pushing her, saying things to piss her off. I don’t understand it. I can’t stop thinking about her. I think she’s fucking beautiful, and I could be spending this time getting to know her, seeing if maybe there’s something between us, but instead, I push against it and make her think I’m this fucking dick of a guy.

‘I’m leaving,’ Lynnie says, and I nod, my back still to her, as she slides the box of cookies onto the desk in front of me. ‘Now, I don’t know why you told that gorgeous girl that you don’t like cookies when I know you have one hell of a sweet tooth, but it seemed kind of cruel, Nick.’ I inhale at her words, and her hand comes to my shoulder. ‘Missy’s just trying to start over and make friends in a new town. Eat the cookies, and for God’s sake, go and say thank you.’

As she walks away, I hang my head and take a few deep breaths. I hear the door close and the lock turnfrom the outside. I’ll leave through the back door when I’m ready.

She’s right.

Lynnie Campbell has known me long enough to have seen me eating my body weight in ice cream plenty of times. Her partner Merv owns the diner in town and my love of his doughnuts keeps him in business.

The shame I feel as I sit in silence is uncomfortable, to say the least. I have built up this frustration toward Missy that has me reacting to her before I think, but none of it is her fault, and I know that. Lynnie was right. It was cruel, and it was rude.

Looking down at the little box on my desk, I smile. It looks nice tied up with red and green string with a little candy cane tucked into the top. Now I feel even more of a dick.

I pull out the candy and tug on the string, and the four tabs of the box open up. Pulling out a cookie covered in a mess of green icing and sprinkles, I laugh as I imagine little Jonah going at this like Picasso on an acid trip. I can’t help but picture Missy laughing and trying unsuccessfully to help him do itright.

Jesus, I watch too many Hallmark Christmas movies.

I bite into the cookie, and yep, sweet, sugary goodness.

She offered an olive branch tonight — if I’m honest with myself, she’s offered a few, and I’ve been a total asshole to her when it was never really her I was mad at.

I need to get my head on straight. I need my friend.

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