Page 37 of My Heart To Heal

‘Mama, please.’

‘Please, Missy.’

Okay, it’s a fact — five-year-olds can turn on the puppy dog eyes in a second, and when there are two of them,sheesh, it’s like an attack on the ovariesandthe heartstrings.

‘No, I’m sorry, baby, not tonight.’

Jonah’s bottom lip trembles, but his brows come down in frustration before he stomps away, back upto Bowie’s room. I sigh and slump back into Cara’s stupidly comfortable couch.

‘We don’t mind, Missy, really,’ Cara says sweetly as she comes into the room and puts down some snacks on the coffee table before heading back to the kitchen for more, and Bree leans in close.

‘Let him stay,’ she whispers, and I turn to her. ‘If you take him home, you’ll just put him to bed and sit alone drinking wine in your sweats. If he stays, he won’t impact Doug and Cara’s night — the kids will be out like a light after today, and you can find a more,’ she smirks, ‘interestingway to spend your evening.’

‘Bree,’ I sigh, but I can’t pretend the thought of having the evening to do with as I wish doesn’t appeal.

‘Missy, go tell your son he can stay, then go home and ride the shit out of your neighbor.’

Nick

‘Okay, that’s it, youcrazy kids, lights out.’

Ionly have five animals staying at the clinic right now. Gus, the guinea pig, and Thumper, the lop-eared rabbit, who I took in because their owner is in hospital. Bruno, the chihuahua, who I operated on yesterday after he took a tumble down his owner’s porch steps and landed awkwardly, is drugged up to fuck and will probably sleep until New Year, and Lexi and Lulu, the Persian cats, who were both spayed this week, but their owner went out of town for Christmas, leaving them in our care for the holidays. We’re not a pet hotel, and I’ll be adding a charge to their bill since they didn’t mention they wouldn’t be around for the recovery period.

They’re all fed and medicated for the night, and I need to clear my head.

Today was fucking awesome. The best Christmas I’ve ever had. I usually don’t celebrate at all. I take my mom a gift and some flowers and hand them over on the porch since my dad sees the holidays as a perfect opportunity to start drinking at seven a.m. every day instead of ten. Then I do whatever work needs doing before heading home to whip up something to eat and watch a movie or two with a beer or a glass of wine.

Being at Cara’s house, surrounded by Christmas lights and sparkling ornaments, music, conversations, and laughter, especially the excited giggles ofthe kids, was amazing. And then there was Missy. Lord have mercy, that woman was sent to kill me, I swear.

As if she hasn’t been on my mind enough already, now I have to process the memory of her in that goddam dress.

The woman has a body I could happily get lost in. If I had a map of her curves, I’d throw it away and accept my fate, blindly feeling my way around for the rest of my days.

As I head out to the reception area to check we’re all secure, I notice her car parked behind mine. She’s home. Now I have to go up to my place, knowing she’s on the other side of the wall and not knowing what she wants or where I stand but wanting to knock on her door and kiss her again, touch her again, make her moan my name again.

‘Ughh.’ I groan as I hang my head. I don’t know what my next move needs to be. She made the first one, and now I want to pretend I have at least a little game, but she is this strong, independent, beautiful woman, and I don’t know what I can offer her. I have no idea what I’m doing.

As I head up the stairs, I think about how I couldn’t help but watch her today. Yeah, she looked incredible, but it was more than that. She has this air of fun about her. She laughs loudly and makes everybodyaround her crack up. Bowie loves her almost as much as Jonah does and my god, watching her with him makes me think about things I never considered before. I never really let myself imagine being a father, but if it was with a woman like her, a mother like her, how could I not?

She is way out of my league. I thought it the first time I saw her. I knew it the second I heard her sing like a fucking angel, but for some reason, she let me get close, and I can’t seem to get the taste of her off my lips.

As I push my key into the lock on my door, I hear the click of hers behind me and turn to see her standing there, just like the other night, in a huge T-shirt and boxer shorts. The makeup she wore today is off, and her hair is braided to the side. She’s gorgeous.

‘Hi.’ She inhales deeply, and I notice that she looks nervous. I turn fully to face her now.

‘Hey.’

‘You’re home late.’

I smile slightly and take a tentative step toward her.

‘I had work to do downstairs.’ She nods but doesn’t say anything, so I take another step and notice the bob of her throat as she swallows. ‘You have a good day?’

She smiles now and nods, yes. ‘I did. You?’

‘Yeah,’ another step, ‘Jonah in bed?’

‘I hope so.’ She laughs lightly. ‘He’s at Cara’s.’

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